spouses and illegitimate children Community Group
Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.
It had been a while since I posted on here. But a lot has been happening. My H and I sat down with his teenage daughter last weekend and had a heart to hear talk about the baby and how she was put in the middle of everything, she broke down and cryed and then everything was back to normal, well until she went back home to her mom. She has since been allowed to spend the weekend with the OW and the Child that might be her brother and might not be. She has lashed out at her dad and me, I just can't keep taking this crap. I have been made out as the reason he is not in the kid life, everything is my fault and now she hates me for what her dad as done. There is no reason why I should be the bad guy here, what did I do other then keep what was mine in the first place. I can not go on for another 18 years of this crap. The state is taking way to long in getting the DNA test done, and in the mean time I have been placed in hell. I have to pretend everything is ok around my kids cause my H hasn't told them (Iam waiting for his daughter to out of spite), I walk down the street with my head down feeling ashamed, and I know I am being laughed at for my choice to stay as along as I have. Why do I love him so much, why can't I just turn it off like he did? Is love really this tough, I just want to disappear.
If you would have asked me 2 years ago what I would do if my H had an A I would have said leave. But what we think we would do is often different than what we actually do. I know that if my mom and dad knew my H had an A and brought an illegitimate child into the world, they would have thought I lost my mind for staying. What matters is what you actually think. If you feel in your heart it is the best thing to stay, then stay and stop second guessing yourself. But if you feel you'd be better off leaving, then leave. There isn't one answer that is right for everyone. Each one of us needs to decide on our own as to what we want and what we can live with.