Also I wanted to say thank you to all of you and your support in this, you have helped more then you know.

i pray that this is not his child. and yes it takes a big person to want to sit down with "her" and talk things out. please let this not be his baby!!!!we are gonna will that into existance. i am praying for you.

I do have some advice....do not take the paternity test via the hospital or private measures. My bff from highschool did that and yes the test came back positive....but now that the OW is taking him to court for child support the test have to be taken all over again. Just do it right the first time and go thru a court orderred process. You can start that process now since they won't give you a date for a few weeks anyhow. If she's working things out with her spouse you all could have a chance to get this all figured out. You do have a long road ahead of you. My H's child turns one in about 10 days and we're now in the process of waiting on visitation rights.....after that what's next? I'm sure there'll always be something.

wow pillar your last statement says so much "there will always be something!" it is sad but this is the reality if we stay in our marriages,there will always be something that goes on with these children and their families. do we stay and take it one day at a time or do we run like hell?

jaeW...what is wrong with us for not running like hell? I often question my own sanity. Today was a very tuff day. But in the end, my H is telling me how much he loves me, the baby is sleeping in my room, my in-laws were put in their place, and best of all...the OW just posted on her myspace that she's in a crappy mood. I'm thinking about a few comments I've heard in the past few months from others. "you are a very strong person" Yes I am. We all are. Staying or leaving...for what we've done so far speaks so much of how strong we each are individually.

oh yeah...amethyst...still not sure what jaundice has to do with anything....to do a paternity test they simply take a cotton swab to the inside of their cheek. No blood work is needed.

Wow, a lot is going on. I know I had to get "got" two or three times before I took of "running". But going thru it, "one more time", made it much easier to call it quits and STICK to my decsion.
Now, my husband is calling me trying to be all freindly and his tired-lookin-ass, even had the nerve to flirt with me. He is trying all his old tricks. I am NOT backing down. Taking him to court and not regretting a thing.
Hang in there ladies. Hang tuff.

Well, the way I figure the timeline for the dna test to be done, I should have results right before my bday. That is a great gift. I really want to try but everytime I think of seeing that kid my heart breaks and I cry. I can't live my life that way. He is the kicker to My H just got told that in 30 days he may not have a job. So, he will really have no place to go if I leave him. Gosh, why does this just keep getting harder. I know I shouldn't worry about him and his well being, but I am a caring person and that is my downfall. But, on the bright side everyone has left me alone, so no more harrassament for now. Last night my H sat there and cried that he doesn't want this kid, that he would do anything for it not to be his. That was very hard to watch, but he did nothing to protect him self from this so I also have a hard time feeling sorry for him. It is what it is and there is no changing that, now.

PILLAR-that is exactly what i feel like i should have done the day i found out about this child. i should have put on my running shoes and ran like hell.

Sorry ladies haven't been on in a couple of days. Been wondering about you Am80. Hang in there - its tough, its long but you got us. Its true it is always something. I wish to God I could sit down with my H's BM but she is too chicken to do so. I say sit down only if it is your H child only because now a child would be involved. Or are you wanting to talk to her regarding the A? Its tough - still thinking of running still now. As it stands now, my H is only still around to pay off bills he help incured. It hurts like hell and you feel like lower than shit but we all rise above the ashes in the end regardless of the outcome.

I only want to sit down with her, to let her know that I was his wife before her, while he was with her, and he choose me over her and the baby, and with that said, if she thinks that she can try to keep that kid away from it father, if my H is the dad out of fear that I want her son, she is wrong, I did not ask for this just as much as that poor little baby boy who has a slut of a mother did not want to be born to a total fucked up and broken home. I will be apart of the kids life if I choose to because I have that option unlike her and who ever the fucking dad maybe. I have the right to say and act how ever I want to there is nothing anyone can say otherwise and Yes my H does answer to me, everything will be ran by me. get use to that. If you don't like it maybe you should learn to keep your nasty ass legs closed.


Ahhhhhhh, wow that felt good. I will be alot nicer in person. LOL but, wow I have longed to say that. You are right we will rise above this. I have decided and told my H that I am working on me and finding out who I am and that he is more then welcome to come along for the ride, and if he doesn't want to goodbye.

The one and only conversation between the OW and myself was her trying to apologize to me. I simply stated I would never accept her apology and she better start working on how she's going to apologize to my children who's lives she cheated as well. I have no desire to ever speak to her again. When I want something addressed to her...I let my H have the conversation.

Well, I actually wrote the BM a letter a month after D day because she refused to deal with the situation (6 months later nothing has changed that). I wasn't totally rude but I said how I felt. I sent it to her job and she still didn't say shit. I think that she doesn't say shit because she knows she is wrong and she is embarrassed. But I called her out. The only thing she ever said was to my H but she just said your wife wrote me a letter talking crazy but I won't get into that. Its like bitch you never want to talk about shit so why bring it up. DUH! Then talking crazy - what was crazy? The truth? So she hates me because women call out shit other women do. We aren't stupid like men - we see the BS. Now she calls me ugly and soft in front of my SS. I wish I had a pic to show you guys how not attractive is this chick.