spouses and illegitimate children Community Group

Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.

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Lola06 02/04/2013

Im seeing a counselor now to help me with our situation. Talking with her is the first time I have told anyone about the situation I am in. As Im telling her the pickle I am in, Im just thinking to myself "This is such a Jerry Springer situation" and Im shocked and embarrassed that its happening to me. Im not this type of girl that puts up with cheating and the fact that there is a baby due makes it even more scandalous. If any of my friends were in my situation I would think they were crazy for staying. So. . .why am I staying? I love my SO and he is trying to make a new normal for us.

Is there anything I can do to help me get past this?? The baby will be born any day now, so I know some dark days will be ahead of me.

pinkpony66 02/05/2013

Continue counseling. Give it time, and do what you can to avoid worrying about what others think or what you would have done. You've made the decision to attempt a rebuild and that's what matters. I do hope your so is also seeking counsel and or / as a couple.

This is a long and difficult road you are on. Wishing peace and patience.

mommytojack 02/07/2013

I do not think this is something we will ever get past. Its always going to be there no matter what. Time does help and you will learn to cope with it and realize its not going away. It will depend on how you all do or dont allow the OC and OW in your lives. Continue couseling and hopefully they will recommend some things as mine did. It will also depend on how remorsful your H is. I am sure you know-make sure you get the P test after the baby is born. One thing you have on your side is a lot of time since the child has not been born.
No need to see the OC for a long time -way too young. Take time for you and your H to heal.

HestersPearl 02/14/2013

Dear Lola,

It takes a really long time to get through this. You are at the point where it hurts so deeply that it seems there is no way out of the hurt. But, eventually, you do find your way out of the hurt. You DO get your life back. And, eventually, you get YOU back. Please know that there are others here who have been where you are now. We know your pain. Take solace in that if you can. We are with you.

May you find a some peace and a moment of joy in today and every day.

Susan (Hester's Pearl)

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