Wow, I don't know what to say. How horrible to be giving so much into accepting his major fuck ups only to find out he's been continuing his lies.

How did you find out and what is his reaction to you about it? Why did he have to sneak her money? If he had no doubt the child was his why didn't the two of your send money orders?

Im really sorry your going through this. I feel the lies are far worse than what they lie about (if that makes sense)

Sending some (((hugs)))

I'm so sorry! My husband started doing the same thing a few years ago. He was sneaking off to see her and the OC when I would leave for work in the morning. I started getting that "feeling" in the pit of my stomach. After investigating, I caught him spending the whole morning one day with her and the OC. It hurt so bad. It hurt worse then finding out the first time. What made it worse, is that he saw the pain I was in when it first happened and yet he did it again. All the progress I thought we made was a lie! For some reason I even felt humiliated. Like the joke was on me. She was in on it, he was in on it and here I was, believing that it was my husband and I against her but in reality, it was him and the OW against me. There was no sex involved the second time but it didn't matter. He lied to my face again!!

My husband and I are still together. We managed to work through it and are finally moving forward a little more. It was even harder to work through the second time because the trust that we had built up again was destroyed 10 fold. No doubt about it, we are still healing but somehow the second time has allowed us to reach a new level of rebuilding that we hadn't reached before. We've been back to court several times in regards to child support. We have no contact and my husband wants it that way. I don't know how your husband feels about that but either way, make sure everything is done through the courts.

My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Like pink said the lies are far worse than what they lie about. Why don't they get that??!! ((HUGS))

She was the one that said he was only allowed to see him if he stopped at her place anytime he wanted to. I said unacceptable and he agreed said no way not unless ur with me we had conversation after conversation about everything over the last 2 years we've been back together he said he felt like he had to keep her happy so she wouldn't come after him for cs which would be more and he doesn't want to go thru children services which we had talked about and I was fine with an attorney drawing up papers but again didn't matter he said it was once a month at the end of the month for 5 minutes he would step inside her door hand her money hold him or now he stands so he just stands there with him she has a new condo now and a new car he tells me he didn't get those either but I can't believe him he says he feels 100% responsible for this kid because he left her so she sits home no job living off his money while supporter other son I am absolutely destroyed. I caught him finally by calling his bluff I knew all along the 100s of times I asked him and he lied to me to my face each time but I looked up Google maps earth and saw his truck parked there he always leaves his tailgate down I asked him and he said yes I wasn't even 100% sure except for that feeling in my gut I don't know where to go from here now thank u ladies

And jewel you're first paragraph decries my situation exactly I feel like the in on this together cause she doesn't want the oc around me and he protects her

And he wants to keep seeing him too I don't know that I can handle it

This sounds like our situation except I knew he was seeing her to see the kid. He finally told her he was going to go through the courts and she made a false police report against him. It was perfect. Even her lawyer told our lawyer he thinks she's delusional. Her request for a protection order was dropped. So now we're moving forward with the courts. The funny thing is that he says he wants time with the kid, but never spent much time with ours. He left it all up to me. I'm guessing he'll have a few visits and get tired of the extra work. I'm hoping that the whore goes all the way off the deep end once visits start. Hehehehe.

Wow exactly the same we have 4 kids together he never once helped it was all on me he said he helped financially and knew they were taken care of by me. He did exactly what she wanted which was to keep me out of the picture obvious when the only option she gave him was come to her place I'm sure she enjoyed that he told me she still made comments about how much he hurt her etc. She has filed domestic abuse against her last husband I secretly hope it does happen to him so he learns otherwise he's protecting her to the end. He said we will be moving forward with getting normal visitation but we'll see. I thin it's just a matter of time till we come to an end which I hate to say because of our 4 kids and she'll win but I can only take so much.

I definitely think she's delusional I know she things I'm going to attack her and her baby but yet I haven't contacted her once no text no call no emails nothing and my kids are too important for me to waste my time on her I wish she never existed

My first suggestion is get legally separated and file for child support immediately. Get the larger chunk of money in tour childrens names ASAP.

Then he can make his demands with her. The first one to file gets the higher percentage which is why ow get so much when they file. He needs to NOT give hercash but money orders . Keep records. In the meantime as these steps ate being taken to safeguard the finances you need to decide what you want.

If you decide to leave you've got everything set. If you decide to stay, consider the legalities of it all as "just papers".

You might want to lead him to believe your "all in" for rebuilding until all of the safeguards are in place. Incase he sees your considering result leaving and he makes it difficult.

Note that the cards are on the table, he should be telling you the moment he pulls up to her door and the moment he gets back into his car. Even give you three opportunity to park down the block to monitor.

Liers learning not to lie is tough.

Pardon some auto correct wrong words

That's just it we have talked about everything and what I wanted in place he agreed then went behind my back it's like pointless to talk to him and we are already divorced because of his continuous lies I gave him another chance when he begged me to take him back and save him from her then he does this to me. I know she wants cash so there's no trace so she can still get all her free medical and assistance I don't even know if he wants to be here anymore or loves me I'm just too scared to make him leave again cause I'd have to do that to my kids again

I understand. When my husband and I were living separately I was very hesitant to have him move back because of the kids. I wanted to feel so sure that I would not disrupt their lives and let them down.

Heyyyyy better than finding out hes inpregnated her again. The bond will never be broken... And if he likes this woman. You are in trouble. Good luck my friend

Get now what you can out of it and move on! 'What a Wicked Web we Weave when at First We Try to Deceive'! Be yourself, surround yourself with those who 'serve a purpose in your life'. That's what Im trying to do as going thru a divorce after marriage of 30yrs & 5 biologics. Not sure if there actually is another child in the pic, but there definitely has been 2 'paramours' at some level of connection with him (spouse), odd behaviors, attitude toward me. To me, belittlement = betrayl of some kind!. I actually found an old state tax form with a soc.sec.# in the 'spouse' box that does not belong to me. There has been major 'Tax Issues' weve had to deal with over past few years. Im done with the gamer! I don't want to be legally affiliated with him anymore. If hes lied once, hell do it again. Keep yourself intact & believe in Karma!
You don't have to have anything to do with the OC or OW.
Again, get what you can out of it & re-build!!!!

hey kimmy...I haven't been on in soooo long, but seeing your post now and reading through it. your H sounds just like mine...a liar. They lie about absolutely everything. My H would be doing the same exact thing if OW didn't find a "replacement" for him quickly. And he thinks because it's pretty clear he's not seeing the OC that I should be happy. The only reason he's not seeing the OC is because OW has someone else playing daddy right now. If this guy left the whore tomorrow and she called my H up with some sob story I guarantee he'd go see her and play along and lie to my face also.

men like them disgust me. I'm still married, but think about divorce every single day. I am married to someone I absolutely cannot trust. Right now I'm staying and trying to keep everything semi normal for the kids, but I know I won't be here forever. I have plans to leave as soon as I can.

I hate telling people to leave, but when it comes to men who just lie constantly and have no regard for lying there's no point in staying. No matter what happens now...all you will ever do is question whether he's telling the truth or not. good luck!