I'm new to this and I know what you mean. I try not to bring it up to Hubs too much, but I sometimes can't get it out of my head. I use my hate for energy sometimes.... It feels better than being depressed.

I know exactly what you mean I hate this feeling I hate her I hate him for being so stupid one day I'm fine and positive and another like today I cry all day and am hopeless

That is a tough one. My counselor told me to picture her as the lowest trailer trash I could imagine with no education, because if she was intelligent or had any morals she wouldn't have gotten herself in that position in the first place. I put these OW on the same level with child molestors. They are only out for personal gain and don't care about anyone's feelings, especially the baby's, but their own. Child molestors have the same profile. They don't think about anybody but themselves when they are performing the nasty.

Hurt those days are common and well know. For all of us. You are preggers so x2 for you. For me... Only time makes it tolerable where you may spend minutes thinking of situation. Been there, and each time i have a day like that i nit pick on a little detail about it and analyze it and its like friggin kitchen shears cutting my nails. Hang in tgere its best to not let H have it each time you're in a funk. Some days it is inevitable. Letter worke wonders for me. Even if she scoffs or wipes her behind with it. I would do it all over again. You can leave the forgiving part out. Just let her have it lol. Ok so on a tangent.... I wish we knew what LMK28 has been up too. I hope we helped save one!!! Take care baby bump!!

Damn auto correct!!!! Lmfao

all the time- not sure how far a long you are but it will be 4 yrs for me this july and I stil have those days. my biggest issue now and the anger that I have is that she and my husband stole my mental health! I was 37 when I found out and could not think straight until now. I wanted another child but could not think straight. now I am 41 and of course way too old to have another. they robbed me of a lot of yrs! hate her so much

Like Mommytojack said.... These ow/oc rob us of a lot of years and also dampen our moods in even the happiest events sometimes. Its like a migrane that comes unexpected. I too waited too lo g to have my twins bec of my anger at H producing my sweet boy w a sibling w/o my help. I would say: my son already has a brother and Im not complicating my life w another child that will just tie me more to him. One day during our better times I just said : to hell with it, this oc WILL NOT be my son's only sibling so I went big w twins!!! Lol. Im paying for it dearly and working my arse off w these babies but no regrets. Bottom line, try hard not to let oc thought interfere with your life plans, she is not worth it.

Last month made 3 years since DDay, and it still consumes me every day. Even with both of us working, we couldn't afford Christmas gifts for our children. We couldn't get our kids presents on their birthdays. Our son, who has Aspergers, cannot understand what has changed. He asks how it's possible that we used to go do fun things together all the time, but we tell him now we can't. He asks why we can no longer reward him with a toy of his choice for his grades when we used to all the time.

Both of our incomes together JUST cover our rent and utilities by a dollar or two. There is no room for extras. We can't even afford car insurance or health insurance. And every time something happens- a flat tire, my wisdom tooth bursting through my gums... or getting injured at work, that woman is all I can think about.

We were just served an eviction notice by our landlord because we cannot pay rent now that I got hurt at work (on the DDay anniversary, no less) and work comp is paying me a mere $100 a week. We've gotten shut off notices for all of our utilities and our phones. And all I can think about is her.

We tried getting an emergency loan, and they told us that because the state is still garnishing 50% of H's income (they claim they cannot readjust his payments until they notify her. That was 8 months ago. She has been hiding.) that our debt to income ratio is too high for them to help us.

I agree with one of the previous posts... about viewing the OW as the lowest, most unintelligent of human beings. I view our OW as a selfish little child who is entitled and doesn't suffer consequences. From day one, she has gotten away with everything and has been punished for nothing she did. So that is how I view her. A stupid child.