spouses and illegitimate children Community Group
Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.
Yesterday my in-laws confronted me about H lying about being in school. I was very, very confused.
This is H's second semester. I knew he had been dropped from his Math class because of attendance (he missed a class for work orientation and then missed a second class when our son got sick at school.), despite emailing the teacher and asking if he could pick up makeup work. The particular teacher apparently doesn't do makeup work. But he told me not to worry, because he still had his two other classes that are online that he can do from the house. He had three online and one in-person course last semester, so I didn't question it.
FIL confronted me yesterday evening after work, saying he discovered that H is not enrolled in school at all this semester, but that earlier in the day yesterday he had the nerve to tell them everything was going great. I told him I knew he had been dropped from his Math class, but that he told me he had two other classes. It was a lie. H has no other classes.
So he has been laying around the house, sleeping and watching movies, while I bust my butt at my job, taking extra shifts and missing out on family events and my THIRD FUNERAL this year. I'm seething, now, because H is always asking me "Are you getting more hours? You should request more hours. Text your coworkers and see if they want to give up their Sunday shift. You could work that day." While he works Sat/Sun/Mon and sits around all week after that. WHY DID HE DROP FROM SCHOOL!? WHY DID HE LIE!? We just found out we're having baby number 3, so he just drops everything? What the hell!?
I'm so angry, I could scream. And FIL thought I was covering for him and lying about his schooling. I had no idea. He and MIL have been harassing me about working too many hours because they watch the kids while I work my weekend shifts, because H works weekends. But I keep taking on more hours because H just KEEPS SCREWING UP and then I have to make up for it! He is supposed to get $1300 a month for being in school. Know what happens when he is dropped from his classes? He gets NOTHING. What the he'll was he thinking? How was he going to explain where the money was when it didn't get here!?
I just downloaded the separation paperwork. I guess I'll email it to myself and print it at work so I can get that done for Monday morning. I feel so stupid.
This is H's second semester. I knew he had been dropped from his Math class because of attendance (he missed a class for work orientation and then missed a second class when our son got sick at school.), despite emailing the teacher and asking if he could pick up makeup work. The particular teacher apparently doesn't do makeup work. But he told me not to worry, because he still had his two other classes that are online that he can do from the house. He had three online and one in-person course last semester, so I didn't question it.
FIL confronted me yesterday evening after work, saying he discovered that H is not enrolled in school at all this semester, but that earlier in the day yesterday he had the nerve to tell them everything was going great. I told him I knew he had been dropped from his Math class, but that he told me he had two other classes. It was a lie. H has no other classes.
So he has been laying around the house, sleeping and watching movies, while I bust my butt at my job, taking extra shifts and missing out on family events and my THIRD FUNERAL this year. I'm seething, now, because H is always asking me "Are you getting more hours? You should request more hours. Text your coworkers and see if they want to give up their Sunday shift. You could work that day." While he works Sat/Sun/Mon and sits around all week after that. WHY DID HE DROP FROM SCHOOL!? WHY DID HE LIE!? We just found out we're having baby number 3, so he just drops everything? What the hell!?
I'm so angry, I could scream. And FIL thought I was covering for him and lying about his schooling. I had no idea. He and MIL have been harassing me about working too many hours because they watch the kids while I work my weekend shifts, because H works weekends. But I keep taking on more hours because H just KEEPS SCREWING UP and then I have to make up for it! He is supposed to get $1300 a month for being in school. Know what happens when he is dropped from his classes? He gets NOTHING. What the he'll was he thinking? How was he going to explain where the money was when it didn't get here!?
I just downloaded the separation paperwork. I guess I'll email it to myself and print it at work so I can get that done for Monday morning. I feel so stupid.
We are not doing well at the moment because he just doesn't get the enormity of lying.
It sounds like your going through a similar feeling. Lying is like axGIGANTIC trigger. Probably more than anything else.
Have you talked to him at all about what his train of thought was in lying about school?
Since his parents are so involved maybe it's time to confide in them? Could you go to them and tell them how you're feeling, how H has been acting and what's going on? Would they help you have an intervention with your H?
How are you feeling? I remember it was awful going through the beginning of pregnancy like this. hang in there!