spouses and illegitimate children Community Group

Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.

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TormentedHeart 08/05/2014

I have a question:

1.) I have 2 1/2 children from my H and I filed for child support against him while we were living separately. When we started talking about reconciling, I never dropped the case because some of your stories scare me to death regarding my finances. Is it worth me keeping my child support case to make sure that we aren't paying out of the butt for this issue?

2.) He thinks he could settle with her out of court, but she's agreeing to that but acting funny about a DNA test (she'd rather not get one because its not worth it????) It's best to go through the courts right? I just don't want to get to court and then he has to pay some big hefty cs and blame my advice. I tried to stay out of it but quite frankly the both of them are too dumb to come up with anything and their decisions affect me and my children.

TormentedHeart 08/05/2014

AuntTAnn 08/05/2014

If she's squirming about the dna test then she has her own questions about the paternity and now you must get one. You could be off the hook! It shouldn't be more than a few hundred dollars which is steep, but could prevent the outflow of thousands! Good luck!

kimmyc69 08/05/2014

We were told she can tell them to just do dna and not enforce cs he also can ask for dna through children services it's like 40.00 for each person he pays all if it's his but only pays his if not plus it's better to get dna now or she possibly could come back years later and ask for back cs the money agreement needs to be through an attorney so it's legal other we just an agreement the money he gives her only counts as a gift

kimmyc69 08/05/2014

Otherwise*

deleted_user 08/05/2014

I know first hand! GET the test! They can STILL agree on a amount out of court!

pinkpony66 08/06/2014

If you choose out of court, make sure you keep records of payments. Get DNA immediately don't sign birth certificate until DNA is confirmed and keep your child support going. If she files first rythm she gets more. The first to file gets the higher percentage.

Look into percentages and don't pay hey more than the courts would order because if she takes to court there's a good chance they will order he continue those payments.

I think speed in all decisions is priority. If he's planning on contact he can order at home DNA for about $40.

tornforgood 08/06/2014

YES, keep your CS. Even though its money coming back to you both its an official amount assigned to you in case the whore gets serious and also if he gets up and leaves you/ you break it up. Absolutely find a way to Do the DNA. Either get it independently which is fairly inexpensive or do the whole court ordered thing. Either way if d a is positive she is going to milk it no matter what. If its negative oH Lord.... Can you imagine flicking her off. Amazing. Keep your cs!!!!

TormentedHeart 08/06/2014

Thanks ladies, I just got nervous because I don't want to be sued by our state for fraud. I just feel there are NO laws that protect us and our children. I wanted to sue the OW for harassment because she is seriously insane, she faked the first pregnancy and went as far as to using her aunt's baby until shit hit the fan and she couldn't prove that the baby was hers let alone his. I can't find a lawyer that will take my case without me filing for full blown out divorce...its my decision if I want to stay but she is still harassing me.

Stupid kept messing with her and by the time I found out about her she was 3 months pregnant for real this time and he has no doubt (besides looks which doesn't mean much) that this baby is his, but he has minimal to no contact.

lilhurt420 08/06/2014

Keep your case...that'll help keep her amount lowered

Are you going to have contact? If you're going to have contact then I think it's possible to settle out of court. I'd still do the DNA especially since she's squirming about it. Even our OW, who is a known whore and got multiple DNA test done, didn't object to the DNA test. So if she's being weird about it, something is up.

If you're not going to have contact...I'd say just go through court. It's less headache in the long run without dealing with OW.

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