spouses and illegitimate children Community Group
Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.
Still have no contact or even know for sure the OC is his. She was sending pictures on a weekly basis and telling him he could only see him if he came to her house otherwise he couldn't have him or see him. She asked for money but only if he lied and said she was working for him and if it was under the amount she is allowed to have to still obtain assistance. I refused to lie especially since she wasn't letting him see him without her and as far as I know he is giving her nothing. The last time we heard from her was Thanksgiving of last year she sent a picture of the OC and her holding it I lost it seeing as how it's supposed to be about the OC that is the last known contact I'm aware of. I have asked him several times if he is giving her money or seeing the OC and he states no. I know he didn't want to push the issue of getting the OC cause he felt bad for her so I know that's why he hasn't done anything at this point even a DNA. He has now brought it back up and wants to ask for a DNA and start seeing this OC I knew this day would come because the OC just turned 1. I'm sick to my stomach and don't want this OC in our lives or my 4 children's lives but I know I have to for him and I will do my best to accept the OC somehow. I don't know how this is going to turn out or what this OW is doing why she wouldn't want his money or want him to be part of his life other then he's with me. 2 years later and I'm still waiting. I would love to have another child but am not because of my age and because I'm enjoying our time together so I'm bitter because now the OC will be someone else's and not ours. He will love another child that we didn't have together.
The oc in my life is a regular part of our lives. It was a long and difficult path but we are here. Do I wish I could wavea magic wand and make it not be real sometimes? Sure. I still get triggers but having the oc here in weekends is our new normal. My son is the same age and they are very close.
However if I need a weekend without oc my H just makes that happen.
There are varying degrees if involvement and you choose what level you are comfortable with.
How old are your children?
Anyway, it's good to hear from you, Kimmy, since your story is so similar to mine, at least regarding the timing. I still laugh at myself for thinking maybe you were OW stalking me on here. Good luck. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that you get a NEGATIVE dna test.