I dont know your situation but I find myself believing my husband is telling the truth even though im scared to. I think you are the only one who knows if its really worth fighting for. Most friends and family and even strangers are going to tell you to kick him to the curb. But, do you think the reasons for what happened can be learned from or changed in order for something like this to not happen again? Do you think your husband knows where he went wrong and is he willing to protect himself from this kind of thing in the future. (example: if he met her at work...maybe he doesnt need to be having long conversation with women at work or making friendships with the opposite sex) Do you believe him enough to take a chance with him? Does he act sorry for what he has done to you? If not then I know it wouldnt work for me. My h has to fix what he has done to me and my marriage no matter how hard it is.

my point of view......

1. thats a hard one but you have to go with your gut. i hate to throw away 11 years but i have to realize that he threw it away not me.

2. at this point you can only believe what he tells you, until he shows you that you can't believe him. i just watch and pay very close attention. i always hung on his every word and now i know i can't trust him. most of what comes out of his mouth sounds like a lie but until i am proven right i just believe him and go on.

3. i have asked myself that question many times but i know that even if one of my reason is that i don't want to fail, i have so many more important reasons why i stay and try to work it out. like our son, finances,investments, unconditional love. so yes you may feel like failure is your reason for not giving up, but there is so many other reasons you stay.

i hope this makes sense, it did in my head.

Yes that make alot of sense. Lately everything my H does makes me mad. When he says he loves me, I say to myself, yeah, but you said you loved the OW too. When he says he wants me to be his forever, I think to myself, You should have thought about that before you screwed her in my home while I was in the hospital. I'm so confused.

confused so describes my life...

You know the saying, "To each their own" It is true every person, situation, process is different. But, Anethy, trust me when i say that i know how u feel. ALL of the above questions have weighed heavy on my mind in the past.
1) I didnt know that it was worth fighting for, but I knew that I wanted to fight for my husband. I wanted to fight for the life we once had, and for the future that I wanted for my children.
2) I accepted the fact that everything he told me could be truth, or it could be a lie, and there was nothing I could do to know for certain which was which. So, for self-preservations sake was quite aware that I needed to stay clear-headed and not be naive.
3) For me it was both. I wanted my marriage to succeed. I wanted to be that one couple who "rode through the storm" and "came out on top". Their was another side of me that was angry, ashame and in fear of letting go because I felt like a failure and I felt like I would be "losing my husband".
I now accept the fact that I am NOT responsible for the actions of my husbands, his slut's or anyone else for that matter. They are responsible for what they ahve done, them and them ALONE.

wow shadowdancer-that is exactly what i was trying to say. i just could not get it into those words. i am so sorry that things did not go the way you expected. i hope you and your kids are doing okay.