You have helped me tremendously! You have given great advice and support. Divorced or not, you belong here! <3

Thank you Jewel. You have been here for me as well. Thank you sister.

This site states "deep and everlasting". Our situations change. I don't consider the pain any less whether you are divorced or married. Sorry, yes Im older and wiser than most on here. Experience and wisdom come with age as well as achy joints.

You belong here, absolutely. All of us here share the history a husband's affair and creation of an OC. All of us carry the pain, whether our marriages survive or not. I think it's good to have the voices of all women in this situation on this group. You can never divorce your past....never divorce your pain...never divorce your own children who are also immersed in the betrayal when they find out what their dad has done, and possibly also be expected to integrate a new half-sibling into the family.

I faced the possibility of divorce a few months ago (we ended up reconciling and my H ended the affair for good.) It is something that can happen to any of us, honestly...affairs can make men do crazy things. I looked to you, dmdempse1, as someone who could speak from the other side of that big transition. I am sure there are women reading these posts who have "just found out" who need the voices from both sides (reconciliation and divorce). One thing I realized during our separation is that there would be pain no matter what the outcome was. Reconciliation is painful because the OC is forever, even if the affair is over. Divorce is painful too, and the OC is also still forever linked to your children because the OC is linked to your children's father. There are two paths in the forest, but there is no easy way through it...just different.

I hope you didn't take my response to your other post as saying you don't belong. You asked if there were any other divorcees because of the oc. From my time on this board I don't recall any or at least not current active members. My suggestion was to check out the divorce page , in addition to not instead of, this page.

Each group has it's own set of members and I am personally on a few groups that deal with my husbands infidelity. Each group has a different focus. My thought for you is that if you were looking to find others who divorced over an oc, you might find them on the divorce page. I also said "don't leave us"

Im sorry if my response felt as though I was saying you don't belong her.

I have not even read this thread, but wow, you so belong and I envy so much. please stay as I follow you. you are such a strong person. I follow you big time

there are a lot of members that have done the same as you...not sure where this thought is coming from

Thank you friends. We all have enough hurt to go around for everyone no matter what our marital status. Thanks sisters for allowing me to stay.