spouses and illegitimate children Community Group
Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.
Been through divorce, had credit crushed to nothing, betrayed, hated, loved, deceived, gossiped about, laughed at, mocked and who knows what else by the OW and society. Guess what? I'm back and stronger than ever. I close on MY and my God's blessing of a house of my own next month. You all will argue with me on this until I die, but your husband is finding time to fool around on you with OW. Play dumb all you want. I tried it for 10 years and I made myself look weak and stupid. We have a new generation of "boys" that don't want an honest, sexy wife..they want diversity and constant change because they are insecure in themselves. Thanks for reading this. I've vented and I feel better. Love yall.
I do agree with you on the new generations of "boys" who want diversity and constant change because of how insecure they are. That is my husband alright.
Good luck with the house!
My husband is not prefect ( for that matter, neither am I) and has plenty of work he can do on himself but I truly believe he has not cheated since dumping the ow over 12 years ago. Maybe I am just a fool but I suppose that is something I will just have to risk.
I understand where your coming from because of the experience you had in your marriage but honestly saying all of our husband's are finding time to fool around and we are just "playing dumb" is a bit offensive. It may have been true for you and some others but certainly should not be a blanket statement.
I, my marriage, and my husband are works in progress. If I ever decide that I need to walk away, I feel confident that I can do it with strength and self respect.
Again, I am happy that you have found peace and joy at the endof your tunnel. We all deserve to have that whatever path we chose.
Your post really hit home with me, because my H confessed to me that the reason for the affair was the desire for "diversity/something new"…just like you said. He actually has this aspect to his personality in many ways--even with material things that he likes. But he also told me that the emotional havoc he caused, to the OC, the OW, me, and our daughter, was such a price, that he now knows why society prohibits affairs. He says that until he took part in an affair, he never knew anyone would fall in love, any babies could ever be made…he was just like a 15 year old boy who wanted to play…(even though he played in his 40's with a postgraduate degree and 20+ year marriage)…but now HE SAYS that he sees the damage done by affairs and he could never be in one again, and even feels disgust when he sees married people flirting at work with each other. So I don't think every man is the same. Some are decent men who make really bad mistakes.
I support every BS in his/her decision after an affair. There is no correct path, no guaranteed path, but all of us have a gut feeling and I really believe in listening to the gut. I think all BSs should make a choice, honor it, and be ready for the adventure that follows. There is no such thing as returning to the marriage you had before and there will never be a painless divorce. But both paths are promising and lives can be better in each path.