In situaions like these, unfortunately the deception of the other woman will continure as long as she has ties to your H family because they have a daughter. It is unfortunately she is turning your H daughter against him if they have a relationship, I can imagine how frustraing it is.
What we go thru in situaions like this , It is not about the child, It's the drama of the other woman. And that is what I can't deal with, It is too much sometimes. Then you find yourself upset at your H all over again, for bringing all this mess in your life because he could'nt put on a condom and avoided all this in the first place. You can try to be strong and supportive of our husband to save your marriage, but the stress of it will always haunt you from one month to the next and for that reason, I chose not to be involved in the o/c life. And how I feel has nothing to do with that child, This child has a mother is she chose to raise her child on her own with no help from us that is fine, If my husband want to see his son, that is fine too but I can't put myself in this equation and believe I will blend in and some how make this right for my husband, to ease his guilt. He has to accept responsbility for his child that was born out of an affair but at the same time I keep asking myself, where do I fit in this, or why should I. I am never going to be happy with it, The situaion becomes, "it is what it is and your life will never be "the same" So expect these underhanded things to happen, and don't be surprised by any of it. This is a knife in your back that will never stop turning

WTh? There is something wrong with this OW. I will say though...these are situations your h needs to resolve. He needs to advise the ow and his parents what is acceptable. It's obviously too late w the ow and his 14 yr olds mother. don't get me started on those two....but he needs to handle these additional issues asap. not too sure whats up with giving her all these options...why is a judge not deciding the parenting issues?

Oh...that's really messed up! Why didn't your h's mother mention this to him? Does your h's mom and the OW talk or see eachother? After reading this, it got me thinking, I hope that my mother in-law knows that it would be innapropriate and down right hurtful if she ever is in contact with the ow. I think I'm going to talk to my h about that. We live almost 2 hours away from the ow, but my inlaws are about a half hour away from her and the oc. I can't believe that she has refused all 8 of the parenting plans. Not sure where you live, but did they have to go to mediation first? My h and the ow have a mediation appt. coming up. I was hoping that after that this would be close to being settled! Yeah....why isn't a judge involved in this? Oh...and doesn't the c/s amount stay the same until your H has more time?? Maybe she is just stalling so that she can keep recieving more money. I hope parenting plan #9 works, or a judge steps in and makes an agreement. These women are sick individuals!

Let me clear something up: the 14 year old is his daughter from his first marriage. The o/c is 1 1/2 witht he OW. His mother claims she does not want contact with the O/W at all and will only see the o/c through us. My H did confront the OW she doesn't see how she was wrong and still doesn't. as afar as the parenting plan goes, her not signing one is going to bite her in the butt, because the child needs to see an eye dr for something and she has already made it clear that she wants my H to pay half. He response was we will see and when the time comes he is going to say no, we have no agreement and we pay the state for his medical care, so you are on your own. I do want this all to go through the courts, but it is his mess and I have to wait for him to get to that point as well.

Good, I'm glad that his mom is on the same page. Going through the courts is difficult too! I don't think there's anything easy about this. One thing about going through the courts that makes me feel better, is that everything will hopefully be in black and white, on paper so that it will be harder for her to play games. Good for your H for standing up to her. It sounds to me like you and your H are a good team...keep it up! At some point, things will get better, right?