spouses and illegitimate children Community Group
Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.
Since we found out we're expecting. I'm 7 weeks long today...I've been feeling really shitty getting sick throughout the day and haven't been really into sex but I've been trying so my husband doesn't feel left out. I even told him about a week ago how I'm nervous that he could stray because I know how he "needs" to have sex like everyday...and it hasn't been happening everyday. And even when it does I know he can tell I'm not really into it, but I try. It has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with me just not feeling well while I'm pregnant.
Well last night he had a class to go to and when it was over he texted me to say he was going to play poker with his friends. He did this last week too and was home around 11 or so, so no big deal. I was a little disappointed because I asked him yesterday if we could watch a movie together last night cause I felt like we haven't really spent much quality time together lately and he said yea, but that changed when poker came up. He said he promised we'd watch one tonight and that was it. I went to bed early and woke up around 2:30am and he was no where to be found. This brought on a trigger for me, because this is what he used to do. He'd be gone almost every single night till late at night or not come home at all. Just a few weeks ago he was out until 5:30am and said he was hanging out at a friends house...and now this!
So this morning I looked in his phone when I got up for work and he didn't go to his class (but he told me that they changed the time)...and one of his friends texted him talking about how he works at this new bar and there's all these girls there and how my husband would be in heaven but he's not bringing him around them until he gets snipped cause no more babies for him. On top of that I noticed my calls were blocked. He claims he blocked my calls when we were arguing the other day and forgot to unblock them...but this same exact thing happened when he was out till 5:30am a few weeks ago.
WTF!!!! I'm so pissed...between this and my hormones I could kill someone right now!!! My husband is saying his friend was joking and has now turned it around on me saying I just want him to be cheating so I can go do what I want to do (yea...while I'm pregnant idiot). I know that's a tell tale sign.
I'm so lost and confused...I went through this for 8 years with him. He'd get caught and make me believe that nothing was going on and I'd get over it...and look what happened! This was all supposed to be behind us and he's still lying I feel like. And even if he was playing poker and his friend was joking I think it's so inappropriate what he's doing and how he's acting.
Now what do I do?? I don't even know where to go from here. I don't want to be the idiot and believe him again. But I'm pregnant and married now (we weren't married yet when he did all the cheating before).
Ugh!! and I had to quit smoking because of the pregnancy...but I'm DYING for a cigarette now :(
Well last night he had a class to go to and when it was over he texted me to say he was going to play poker with his friends. He did this last week too and was home around 11 or so, so no big deal. I was a little disappointed because I asked him yesterday if we could watch a movie together last night cause I felt like we haven't really spent much quality time together lately and he said yea, but that changed when poker came up. He said he promised we'd watch one tonight and that was it. I went to bed early and woke up around 2:30am and he was no where to be found. This brought on a trigger for me, because this is what he used to do. He'd be gone almost every single night till late at night or not come home at all. Just a few weeks ago he was out until 5:30am and said he was hanging out at a friends house...and now this!
So this morning I looked in his phone when I got up for work and he didn't go to his class (but he told me that they changed the time)...and one of his friends texted him talking about how he works at this new bar and there's all these girls there and how my husband would be in heaven but he's not bringing him around them until he gets snipped cause no more babies for him. On top of that I noticed my calls were blocked. He claims he blocked my calls when we were arguing the other day and forgot to unblock them...but this same exact thing happened when he was out till 5:30am a few weeks ago.
WTF!!!! I'm so pissed...between this and my hormones I could kill someone right now!!! My husband is saying his friend was joking and has now turned it around on me saying I just want him to be cheating so I can go do what I want to do (yea...while I'm pregnant idiot). I know that's a tell tale sign.
I'm so lost and confused...I went through this for 8 years with him. He'd get caught and make me believe that nothing was going on and I'd get over it...and look what happened! This was all supposed to be behind us and he's still lying I feel like. And even if he was playing poker and his friend was joking I think it's so inappropriate what he's doing and how he's acting.
Now what do I do?? I don't even know where to go from here. I don't want to be the idiot and believe him again. But I'm pregnant and married now (we weren't married yet when he did all the cheating before).
Ugh!! and I had to quit smoking because of the pregnancy...but I'm DYING for a cigarette now :(
My wound has reopened and im prob hovering ppd 10mo into my daughters' lives but im toughing it out. I feel in my heart that we'll b one of those couples that splits once kids are grown or if he pulls that again. Its devastating. I love to say RUN WHILE YOU CAN, but i think we are stubborn and choose to fight. Its exhausting. If this is your first and only bb it will be easy if you have a loving family. So sorry.