spouses and illegitimate children Community Group
Dealing with your spouse not only having an affair but a child as a result and how it affects your day to day life and the lives of your children.
I wanted to start a thread about something positive.
The last thread I read ended with Aunt saying that if we end a marriage because of a lack of trust we may end up being unhappy in different ways.
Oh, how right she is.
I'm asking you all to share what motivates you to stay.
We are the lucky few over the last few thousands of years who have actually had a.choice to stay or not. So what keeps you going?
I received a letter in the mail fro. Our attorney today and we go to court next Friday, probably the last time to have everything established.
I was once my way to work and needed to get rid of that gutted feeling so I played this song on repeat until I got there. The lyrics get me fired up and confident every time I hear it.
Needtobreathe
"Slumber"
Days they force you
Back under those covers
Lazy mornings they multiply
But glory's waiting
Outside your window
So wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Tongues are violent
Personal and focused
Tough to beat with
Your steady mind
But hearts are stronger after broken
So, wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
All these victims
Stand in line for
The crumbs that fall from the table
Just enough to get by
All the while
Your invitation
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Take from vandals
All you want now
Please, don't trade it in for life
Replace the feeble
With the fable
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
All these victims
Stand in line for
The crumbs that fall from the table
Just enough to get by
All the while
Your invitation
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Come on
Sing like we used to
Dance when you want to
Taste of the breakthrough
And open wide
All these victims
Stand in line for
The crumbs that fall from the table
Just enough to get by
All the while
Your invitation
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Come on
Sing like we used to
And dance like you want to
Come on now and open your eyes
Come on
Sing it like we used to
And we'll dance like we want to
Come on and open up your eyes
It reminds me that I have the power. I'm not a victim. Victims get victimized. I may be the injured party but I made a choice and my happiness is mine to take. Encouraging you all is one way to do it.
What gets you going?
The last thread I read ended with Aunt saying that if we end a marriage because of a lack of trust we may end up being unhappy in different ways.
Oh, how right she is.
I'm asking you all to share what motivates you to stay.
We are the lucky few over the last few thousands of years who have actually had a.choice to stay or not. So what keeps you going?
I received a letter in the mail fro. Our attorney today and we go to court next Friday, probably the last time to have everything established.
I was once my way to work and needed to get rid of that gutted feeling so I played this song on repeat until I got there. The lyrics get me fired up and confident every time I hear it.
Needtobreathe
"Slumber"
Days they force you
Back under those covers
Lazy mornings they multiply
But glory's waiting
Outside your window
So wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Tongues are violent
Personal and focused
Tough to beat with
Your steady mind
But hearts are stronger after broken
So, wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
All these victims
Stand in line for
The crumbs that fall from the table
Just enough to get by
All the while
Your invitation
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Take from vandals
All you want now
Please, don't trade it in for life
Replace the feeble
With the fable
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
All these victims
Stand in line for
The crumbs that fall from the table
Just enough to get by
All the while
Your invitation
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Come on
Sing like we used to
Dance when you want to
Taste of the breakthrough
And open wide
All these victims
Stand in line for
The crumbs that fall from the table
Just enough to get by
All the while
Your invitation
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Wake on up from your slumber
Baby, open up your eyes
Come on
Sing like we used to
And dance like you want to
Come on now and open your eyes
Come on
Sing it like we used to
And we'll dance like we want to
Come on and open up your eyes
It reminds me that I have the power. I'm not a victim. Victims get victimized. I may be the injured party but I made a choice and my happiness is mine to take. Encouraging you all is one way to do it.
What gets you going?
In those days I guess I'm just "hanging on by thread" knowing that "this to shall pass". It always does.
On some days in motivated by the bond we share our 24 years of history together. Some days I just love him and desire him more. Some days it's that we are still a family and we have amazing kids who count on us leading them through life. We are much better at leading as a unified front, together.
My desire and unending hope that we will grow even more through time. We have the same ideas of retirement and want the same things for that time in our lives.
Knowing that as messed up as my marriage has been over the years and how bizarre or impossible it may seem to others. It's my mess and I'll take over their marriages or divorces any day.
I don't see joy and happiness exude from those who condemn my choices. I chose each day (so far) to continue to be his wife. If there comes a time where I no longer feel motivated to remain or feel that leaving is better for me, I will dig deep for strength and move forward with divorce. But for today, I'm here and happy to be.
Thanks for the reply. I know it may seem like not so much of a comment to you but sharing that sentiment might save a marriage one day.
I hope sharing that with us gave you a little more strength and motivation for your marriage.
It's amazing what a glass of wine and a few encouraging words do for me.