Smoking Addiction & Recovery Support Group
The CDC claims that nicotine is a "very addictive drug" that can be "as addictive as heroin or cocaine." Nicotine is typically eliminated from the body within 2 to 3 days, however, physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms may last for much longer depending on the individual. If you are trying to kick the habit, this community is dedicated to giving smokers the...
A vicar visits a little old lady who has just moved into his parish and finds she has a parrot with blue ribbons tied to both legs and what are the ribbons for ? asks the vicar Well said the old lady if I pull the left ribbon he sings abide with me, and if I pull the right ribbon he sings all things bright and beautiful, and what happens if you pull both ribbons at the same time enquires the vicar ? and the parrot say I fall of the bloody perch idiot.
replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo.'
'A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get? I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,' he said proudly. 'What the hell were you thinking?' she said, shaking her head in disgust.'Why on earth would a retired person get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?'
'Well, I did it for four reasons.
One, I like to watch my money grow
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.'
Charlie is recovering in room 233 at the local hospital.
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"