Smoking Addiction & Recovery Support Group

The CDC claims that nicotine is a "very addictive drug" that can be "as addictive as heroin or cocaine." Nicotine is typically eliminated from the body within 2 to 3 days, however, physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms may last for much longer depending on the individual. If you are trying to kick the habit, this community is dedicated to giving smokers the...

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manda4u75 04/16/2015

I have never smoked a day in my life, but my aunt has smoked nearly everyday since the young age of 13.

She was told a couple years ago that if she didn't quit smoking she could and probably would loose a limb or two since her smoking has caused circulation problems.

Just in the last month she had one of her legs amputated and was told that her other foot needs surgery for the same reason she lost her other leg. She was in rehabilitation, but thought she may have a virus. She was taken back to the hospital and they are going to run tests to see exactly what's going on.

My dad lives with her and I worry about his health since she smokes like a chimney. My dad has his own major health concerns.It's so bad that my husband and I can't even go visit because the house reaks of cigarettes. I've been there when my dad has cleaned the green walls and the white rag ends up brown from the tar on the walls.

I wonder how to tell them that we just can't come there anymore while she still smokes. We don't want to hurt anyone especially my dad since he can't help it. We just can barely breathe in there. Does anyone have any advice?

mcramer47 04/16/2015

You CAN tell them you won't come to their house because of smoking. You don't need to be around that. It's her decision to smoke or not to. her house, etc. etc.... Maybe you can visit with them outside. Take some chairs and sit in the yard.
You don't need to expose yourself to that at all that second hand smoke. I wouldn't make a big issue of it - just state a fact that you can't. If your aunt doesn't understand it's her problem and not yours.

manda4u75 04/16/2015

I guess I should have mentioned that it's a 2.5 hour drive one way to their house. It's not a trip we want to make to stay only a few hours.

lindah113 04/16/2015

Manda if you want to visit with your dad, make arrangements to pick him up. Take him to dinner or a park, somewhere that you could visit without being subjected to all that smoke. Or you might ask your Aunt to refrain from smoking while you're there. Maybe the family should have an intervention and try to get your Aunt to give up the cancer sticks. She's just making herself more sick.

I'll keep you in my prayers in hopes that you find an acceptable solution. {{{hugs}}}

jazzkeys 04/16/2015

Manda, you would actually be doing your dad and your Aunt a favor by telling them. It might kill your dad, the second hand smoke, and will kill your Aunt. Perhaps you could stay somewhere else, like a hotel, and have them meet you there or like mcramer said, visit them and sit in the yard. Not to hurt or insult them, but they should know that they are harming themselves, someone has to tell them. They can't say they don't know.

grannie 04/16/2015

I would tell her I am coming for a visit but will be staying in a Hotel/Motel because the cigarette smoke bothers me and my husband. Honesty is always the best policy and that way your Aunt will never second guess why you dont want to stay at her house.

If you are going to visit your Dad it needs to be a pleasant visit for everyone, like has been mentioned, go to the park, restaurant, anywhere away from the smoke.

manda4u75 04/16/2015

Thanks for the hotel suggestion. I never really thought about it since where they live hasn't had a hotel for very long. The town they live in is old and doesn't have much, but they do have one new hotel. Lol!

Just found out my aunt has some sort of infection either related to pneumonia or something else. Still running tests. I hope she is okay, but just don't understand how anyone can do this to themselves.

gracenme 04/17/2015

people do not quit because of their health a lot of times . its a addiction and a smoker usually does not want to give it up. I continued to smoke even though the doc kept telling me I would not be able to breathe in time.
you have good advice here.

jazzkeys 04/17/2015

Honey, I smoked until I almost died, got pneumonia, pleurisy and infection and fever, in the hospital for 5 weeks. I did give it up after that
.
It's not easy to give it up but everyone around me were patient, but told me straight up, it smells, it will kill you, that I coughed a lot and should stop. they were honest but not cruel. They were worried about my health, and with good reason.

LankyYankee 04/17/2015

Nicotine addiction goes even deeper than heroin addiction. My heart goes out to you, your dad and your aunt. One person's addiction affects more family, friends, strangers than the addict realizes. I did not, could not even grasp how many people I harmed with my insistence on smoking. Oh, I was a "polite" smoker but countless time I subjected people I love and total strangers to my second hand smoke. Your aunt is an addict. She can only quit if she truly wants to quit. Chastising, threatening etc will only make her dig her heels deeper into her addiction. I understand your disgust with second hand smoke, your reluctance to spend time in a place that reeks and compromises your own breathing. Please don't make your dad pay for your aunt's addiction since his own health is already being compromised. I agree, visit, go to lunch, take walks, spend time outdoors with your dad and enjoy smoke free places together. Voicing your concerns to your aunt will not tell her anything she already doesn't know but at least she will know where she stands with you.

manda4u75 04/17/2015

I truly appreciate everyone's advice. I will make sure I don't over do it, but want my aunt to know I am not going to be around it. Hopefully this hospital visit along with rehab will open her eyes. If not it's her life.

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