Do you honestly think the nicotene relaxed you- or just the fact that you were stressed and 'think' it did?
I woul;d think that you are now scared of getting hooked all over again. And you should- because if you honestly feel good about smoking- you'll keep it up. And pretty soon, you'll be coughing again and feeling awful and wish you hadn't done this. 9 months is a long time to go- I would sit and give your feelings serious consideration. This is your life- do you really want to be a smoker again for the rest of your life?
It does show you how powerful the nicodemon tries to get back in- eve3n after 9 months!!! I know for me- I can NEVER have just one!!!! And I hope & pray I do that. I'm sorery for you but its not too late to get back into your quit.

There's that icky threes thing again! Stick with the last five words of your post here...."I can't go back there"

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/good-posts

nicotine is not a depressant, it is a stimulant. it INSTANTLY raises your blood pressure and pulse. the only reason you felt relaxed is because you listened to your addiction. you provided the drug that your addiction was begging you for. it is no different from a crack addict....if you saw a crack addict begging for his drug, would you agree that the best choice would be to give the person crack? would it relax him? of course it would..CUZ HE WAS JONESIN FOR SOME CRACK! LOL. that doesnt mean he should have it. doesnt mean its going to make his life easier, more healthy, etc. at some point, the maddness has to stop. your addiction was calling and instead of ignoring the shakes, the whispering in your ear, and the fact that you were starting to freak out a little, you gave in and supplied the nicotine. the only reason you felt relaxed is because you fed the addict in you. those cravings can hit for quite some time after you initially detox. that is why 99% of the battle is psychological. in the link i gave you above, you will find a ton of info. old posts from this group, a link to whyquit.com and allen carrs book (online free version) i hear there is also a book on whyquit by another author which has been helpful to some. it is important to understand your addiction, and how you can continue to overcome it. you can find help to do that in all the above mentioned links. AND HERE! we would be happy to listen anytime you need to vent. i recently slipped and had "just one"...of course it felt good..CUZ IM A NICOTINE ADDICT!!! felt so good i went back to a pack a day. 5 weeks and $200 later i decided it wasnt the smartest move. it was not easy to get back into a quit (took the whole 5 weeks) ive been smoke free for 13 days again now and i feel FABULOUS AND FREE! do not go back!!! stay on the smober side...we have cadbury eggs...:)

Hi Mayday
Yes that first cigarette was probably great but it cant stay that way because we are addicts. You will need to increase the amount you smoke little by little and then before you know it you will be smoking like a chimney.
You had 9 months smoke free and thats a huge ackievement. Have a good think maybe there are other alternatives. Could you look at Nicotine replacement therapy for a while till you get control back again over the psychological addiction? Or could you see your Doctor and ask about Champix??
You have done soooooooooo well dont give up now. Good luck and yell if ya need help
cheers
Deb

At last I was successful once I admitted I was an addict and always need to be on guard to protect my quit. Knowing I am not the type to have just one, I have promised to NOPE. Can you pinpoint the trigger so that you can divert and not "go back there"? I would not want to go back either.It is never too late and you already know you can do this!!

mayday, the demon is messing with your mind. The physical stress we feel originates from our minds which triggers the necessary reactions to things perceived as stressful. Likewise, relaxation comes from our minds, although we are often not even aware that the "at ease" command has been sent. Thus, if you tell yourself you "need" a cigarette, then it feels like you do. And if you tell yourself, at the moment, or in advance, that the cigarette will relax you, then it probably will. But you don't even have to do the thinking because the lying, stealing, destroying demon will do it for you.

Oops, here come a shitload of stress from that one cigarette...Now you are on your way back to active addiction. Can you already smell the stinking money burning? Can you already feel your very breath being stolen from you forever? Can you feel the 12 or more chemicals, in addition to nicotine, poisioning your body. Can you feel the agony of the numerous diseases, many of which will cause you almost total isolation from the rest of the world, prior to a miserable, torturous, premature death.

Hmmm? Maybe your thinking needs an adjustment. Might be a screw loose. WhyQuit.com