I just want to leave everyone who asks "why me?" With a thought that always helps me: God chose each of us to have our own specific trials because we ARE strong enough to handle it and He never gives you more than you can deal with. Even though it is sometimes difficult we can get through it and we have each other to help make it.

I just want to say few things. Depression is a serious illness. I sort of agree with everyone's comments but having suffered depression for years & it is suffering in a big way, I know what it is like to have people with all good intentions tell you what to do. It is like telling someone with asthma to just breathe. You know you have to but you can't.
I was also in a Bible study group at the time & felt a lot of guilt because I was angry at God' & everyone else at the time for not feeling better.I could not read as I could'nt process words. I remember the first time I was able to understand the front page of a newspaper. I was ecstatic!
You need a lot of support & understanding which is difficult for people who do not understand depression to give.
Afte two years of numerous medication trials I finally found one which worked without too many side affects.I have been taking them for years & would say my mood is "normal " now. That is I feel all emotions & not like I am on medication. I have tried to reduce the meds but go deep into depression again. My doctor said I should think of them like a diabetic has to have insulin.
When you start to come out of the depression, then you can learn stratergies to help yourself as well.I had panic disorder as well but managed to get that under control with help.
I used to think my tiredness was from the meds but eventually with all my other symptoms I was diagnosed with Sjogren's.
I really hope you are able to get some help Renne G. It may take time but we are all here for you..

RennieG, I just shared this with someone yesterday. When I was in my late twenties, my depression got really bad. I went to a yard sale in my neighborhood. I saw an old bell. It had a cow on it and when I jangled it, it made such a soothing sound. It was ugly, but that was OK-I felt ugly myself. I bought it, took it home and referred to it as my "depression" bell. Soon after, I bought another - they sounded good together. This on was only $2 and was also ugly. I put them on a shelf together and started adding to the collection. Now, I have over 400 depressions bells. One for each time I was really down. They didn't cost much- I think, $5 was the most I ever spent on one. The point is, each bell was mine and only mine. I'd spent money on just me. I'm not sure why they helped me, but they did.

Find a hobby. I sometimes get up and make soap at 3am. I design my own - add color and fragrance and just give them as gifts. We also raise reef aquariums. On top of that, we have 4 rat terriers. Find something that interests you and when you start to get down, get up and get involved it it. I still get depressed, I cry almost every day - but, there are things I can do to help pull myself up.

Keep in touch.

Sally

I can totally relate to how you feel. These last 4 months I have suffered through the deepest depression I have ever had. I have had 3 very seroius suicide attempts which ended me in coma's and ICU's. This is really SERIOUS stuff. Please get help, sweety. I can agree with some of the others, that Faith is really helpful and necessary. I will pray for you that you'll get the best help for YOU asap. Never, ever give up! It can and will get better.