Single Parenting Support Group
Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.
My ex husband & I have been divorced for 10 years. We set up supervised visitation for our 3 boys (now ages 15,13,&11) he would show up late if at all then after a year or two (if that long) he stopped showing up all together. in 2011 we went to court he lied the order of protection was dropped & they gave him visitation. We along with our lawyers set up a few hours on Sunday for a few weeks in a public place. No new wife or kids but yet he brought them to EVERY visitation, he didn't buy them dinner half then time. he did buy them shoes, 2 of them got a psp & the oldest got a new 360. He hasn't bought them anything since he stopped showing up) The boys hated going but went since it was court ordered. He was to contact me if he wanted to continue to see them he NEVER did. In April he showed up at my job (down the street from his house) threw a letter in my face from his lawyer saying that he wanted more visitation. Just before Christmas I got a letter in the mail from his lawyer saying that not only did he want more visitation he wanted unsupervised at his house. He hasn't seen them in years unless you count his whopping 8 hours in 2011 & now he thinks they will come spend days/ weeks at his house. He doesn't seem to care that my kids have said that they don't care about him, they are glad he's not around, the only reason they will see if is because he is forcing them by the courts. My oldest has said that he doesn't care if he (my ex) is dead or alive he is not part of his life & that if he wants to play daddy & buy him things he's willing to accept. I don't understand how anyone can walk away from their kids & expect them to want to see them again. Our judge has ordered that our boys talk to someone else so the judge would know how they feel, they did this thinking that they would finally get a say in their life & not have to see him but the judge gave him supervised visitation anyways. this new place that is suppose to supervise wants to meet with the boys before they take on the case, my kids don't want to talk to anyone else. They feel that nobody is listening to them.
Moda's got some great tips, I agree it would be very hard to make strong teen boys physically go see their father. My oldest is way bigger and stronger than me. :) My boys are sick of being jerked around with false promises of visits and then no shows. That is creating mental anguish and that should not be permitted by the court. What the kids want should be more important than what the parent wants if the parent hasn't been reliable.
All the best.
He obviously doesn't care that much for the kids and their choice should matter too! They're old enough to make that choice!