Single Parenting Support Group
Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.
Hello all, I haven't been on this site for a few years. I lost my desired weight and was living life and so happy. I got pregnant to a man I barely knew and after found out that he was being accused of a horrible crime that he was adamant he didn't commit. He was convicted with no evidence and was sent to jail. Pregnant and depressed I stood by his side and went to visit him and paid for his multiple call everyday.
He was released after 9 months and I believed we would be a family. He wrote me many lies and I believed them all. He has only saw my son a few times and does not help me financially or emotionally. I feel like a fool.
I'm having a really hard time getting out of this depression and trying to find my motivation. I'm upset with myself! How can I let some man have such control of me. I'm upset because I believed all of his lies and the fact that he treats my son and I as if we don't exist. My son is amazing and he can't even be bothered. Sometimes I get so angry I'm irritated all day and that is not fair to my son, he dose not deserve that. I want to call his dad sometimes and just yell at him and cuss him out. But I don't
I am so desperate to get out of this depression. I have turned to my old ways and I am using food as my crutch. I try and say I'm going to do better but I have failed every time.
I am so desperate to get back to being myself and letting go of this anger. PLEASE HELP
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I have 3 kids. 24. 17. 15. My 17 yr old has become super defiant. He and his 15 yr old sister have on their own decision stopped going to their dads because he and his household is so toxic.My 15 yr old and myself feel like we have to tip toe around my son who is 17. And physically towers over us and out weighs us. He has become emotionally abusive and on the verge of becoming physically...
You and your son are faaaaar more valuable than his bio father seems to realize.
No one knows everything. We can't always tell when someone else is lying to us. Let yourself off the hook. You might have been the one who believed him, but he's still the liar. If assigning blame was useful it would all go to him. If you want to think about something you'd do differently next time that's o.k., but you're not to blame for being kind and loyal (both very good qualities) while he was busy lying.
You and your son deserve to be surrounded by people who treat you well. So the fact that he seems to have very little time for you right now might be a chance for you to draw your strength from more supportive, honest relationships.
Anger can be hard to let go of, especially when it is completely justified. When I find myself stuck being angry at someone who has used me I either try to find someone else to do something nice for or I listen to music, especially https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWRJAHaOrYg (unbreakable) and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9yIZnypqBk (dear X (you don't own me)) . Music is a really good medium, but of course the specific songs would be based on the style of music that you prefer.
Sometimes, after some time has passed, (and only when I'm in as good place with my thinking) I may allow myself to think about ways that people or situations have been unfair to the person who hurt me. It doesn't make what they did right, it was still wrong of them, but it helps me see that the way they treated me was about (based on) them and their life experiences and not based on me and my value (or theirs).
OK. I hope anything I've said will be useful to you.
I can tell you are determined to move on from this in a positive way. And though it may seem tough now persistence is like 90% of what it takes.
You can do this!
Pulling for you.
Karma will get him even if it does not seem like it right now. I learned that holding the anger was only hurting me and my kids. I was able to release some of my anger by doing kick boxing. I wrapped myself in creating a better life for myself and the kids and focusing on doing things that make us happy. I know how hard it is but just focus on you and your son and be happy!
You are stronger than you think. You got this!