Single Parenting Support Group

Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.

1,370 Members

1,847 Posts

0 Online

blessed19 11/20/2011

I am a single mom still living with my mother and my grandmother lives next door. I constantly get critisized in regards to my parenting. I have a three year old and he is very hyper and mis behaves on a regular and its very hard for me to deal with. I dont get a break or have a social life I go to work come home and take care of my child. He is always with me no matter what because no one wants to watch him but they always have something to say. I have been seeing a therapist and she told me i was severly depressed and seemed very overwhelmed. My mom and grandmother call me out on everything i do when it comes to my son. It is very hard to raise a child when you have two women who constantly have something negative to say. Not going to lie they are there for me but when it comes to my son thats where we bump heads. I deal with my son not having his father around. I deal with a job that dosent pay enough so that makes me have to depend on my mom for alot. I was in a emotionally abusive realtionship with his father for 2 yrs and i am still dealing with the scars from that. I am depressed and have bad anxiety and I come to a point where I am feeling like ive hit my breaking point and dont know what to do!!! Just need to know I am not alone.

deleted_user 11/20/2011

((hugs)) to you! Being a single parent is so overwhelming in itself, add the extra stresses of those around you and that is a lot to deal with. You definitely aren't alone. I don't have a social life due to being a single parent and also having a child with medical issues. I crave "adult time" and don't have a lot of people in my life that really understand how hard and stressful things can be. Having a 3 year old is a tough age. My advice there is be very very consistent with him. Although it is frustrating for you I'm sure, try to make sure you, your Mom and Grandma all have the same rules for him. Kids that age need and thrive on consistency. Hang in there and I'll be hoping things get better for you soon.

blessed19 11/20/2011

Thank you! Thats the problem things are not consistent. When I say something or try to discipline my own child he knows he can go to them and things will be all better. What really upsets me is the minute he starts to get on there nerves or frustrates them then its like come do something with your child. Its enough to make a person go insane. I just wish I could get my own place hopefully soon.I appreciate your advice.

deleted_user 11/20/2011

I am now a single mom of 6 boys (not that their dad was ever really present, he traveled). Boys are energetic, and into everything all the time. My youngest just turned 3. Consistency is a huge thing. Now that my ex is not hovering over us all the time telling us nothing is ever done right etc. it has been easier for me to be more consistent with the boys and luckily they have responded well. Of course everyone has their bad days, including kids. Do you think your mom and grandmother would be willing to agree to specific discipline if you three sat down and worked it out between you so that he gets the same thing no matter who he runs to?

I don't know if this helps. But I feel very overwhelmed all the time right now. Just know you're doing a great job and that little guy loves and needs you.

deleted_user 11/21/2011

hi, I agree with momof6...you are gonna have to get everyone on the same page with consistency or it will continue to get worse for you. I got sick and my mom had to move in with me earlier this year to help take care of me and my 9 year old daughter. We have VERY different opinions and methods of disciplining her so we bump heads all the time! I have a pretty good idea of what you are dealing with...although I couldn't imagine it coming from 2 people @ the same time. I'm sure it is confusing for him as well. Please try to hang in there and pray about it, you are not alone. There is no place like your own space so I hope you can move out soon!

blessed19 11/21/2011

Thanks guys! This makes me feel a lot better.

deleted_user 11/21/2011

Have you tried reading any books? I was recommended to read 'Toxic Relationships'. Try therapy too, anything that will better your spiritual well being. Good luck.

deleted_user 11/21/2011

You are not alone and being a single parent is very difficult. Try to find time when your child is sleeping to do something you like it could be watching a movie etc....

deleted_user 11/21/2011

I'm new here but just wanted to say hi. I'm raising my now 7 yr old son on my own and I'm more than 2000 miles away from any family members. I often crave advice and assistance from my mom so your post reminds me that doing this without any interference is, in part, a blessing.

Honoring your mother and grandmother is one way you can teach your son to respect women, but sitting down with the matriarchs in your family and spilling your feelings of being overwhelmed and unsupported might be productive too.

They probably don't want you to feel attacked or sabotaged or overwhelmed and they probably have a wealth of useful insight about raising a great kid - just look at how well you turned out :) Finding away to work together for your benefit and for your son's would be ideal. I wish you the best in this very demanding but rewarding journey.

deleted_user 11/24/2011

I understand completely. I have a two year old son who is going through the "No to everything phase" (hopefully its a phase). My ex was emotionally abusive too but is still in our lives.

I love my mom very much but she comes over a couple times a week and likes to tell me how to be a parent. I really need her support but by the time she has been here for a couple hours I just want her out of here. If I had to live with her I would be very depressed.

deleted_user 12/03/2011

I had the same feeling hun about my Mom, until she passed away last year and what I wouldn't give to have her nagging back at how she didn't like my kids father and how he was no good and how I need to be more disciplined with my girls. She was right. My girls father is/was no good. As soon as she passed away he started with physical abuse on me. He was always mentally abusive and always had a drug and alcohol problem. I am all alone now with two girls ages 3 and 4. I work full time and can barely make my house pmt and utilities. I get some food stamps but have not seen one cent in child support since I kicked him out last April. He has only seen his girls one time since.
It is hard very hard. I thank God for my girls Grandparents and the help I get from them and the rest of their family. Funny how his whole family will help me when ever I need help and support my girls in whatever they need if I can't. You just try to make the best of a bad situation. Make lemonade when life hands you lemons. Good luck and hugs to you!

deleted_user 12/03/2011

hi im a single mom of 3 and there dad is not around the promble at hand is that my son always wants his own way and it is all about him his dad was woman beater and was a druggy and he is now in prison, and my parents keep saying my son is going to turn out like him, cuz if my son dont get his own way he will scream in till he does he take fits about everything and he wants everything he will stand there and scream for hours on end what do you think i should do please help

deleted_user 12/15/2011

I understand where your coming from completely. My son is 9 years old and he has had no contact with his father since he was two weeks old, except for a phone call when he was almost 4. He has adhd and odd. When I moved to where I live now I lived with my mom for 6 months. She would reprimand my way of discipline right in front of my 4 year olds son. I like you go to work and go home to take care of my son. Because like you no one wants to take care of him for any more than maybe a couple of hours. My mother and sister that lives here continue to berate me as a mother, but yet they complain about things my son does when they have him. So you are not alone by no means.

Join the Conversation