Single Parenting Support Group

Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.

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Children's Health & Parenting
/ Single Parenting Support Group

Single mom and having a really hard time.

blessed19
blessed19
Im trying to raise a 2yr old little boy with the help of my mom and grand mother. Although I do appreciate them so much and love them with all my heart. THEY ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES.Everytime i try to do something with my son as far as discipline or anything they both have something to say. Last night we had a bad conversation and it ended with me walking out and them saying youre not taking him anywhere. Like I am going to hurt my child. They think i am losing it because I get so upset everytime they say something. The other night my son was driving me crazy and I wanted him to sit down and be still my grandmother comes in there and says dont make him sit down and she came and grabbed him. I was like damn I just told him to sit down. Im like he is never going to listen to me now cause he got two woman who will bail him out everytime. He knows that cause I will tell him something and he will look at my mom and grandmother like "do I have to" ! ? Its crazy I am so miserable. When I talk to them about how I feel the fact that I am very insecure about my parenting skills. They turn it around on me like I am the bad guy.They say I dont appreciate them. Im like whatever. Why dont they understand where im coming from. I thought of all people that my mom would understand where im coming from she was a young mother as well. My grandmother drove her crazy.So why am i made out to be the bad guy?? I dont understand this at all. I just feel like im not a good mother.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have a similar problem but its with an aunt as my mother isnt interested in helping. my aunt will give her advice which is always right and like you, am always left feeling like a bad mother who is always in the wrong. Have you tried telling them how you feel even if its writing in a letter. If they are like mine though they wont listen and the best thing to do is to try and distance yourself tell yourself what a great mother you are
xSkyex
xSkyex
That sounds so horrible I expirience that with my grandmother, but I don't live with her so its not so bad. I live with my mother and I am pretty lucky she leaves it to me to bring up my son and she only offers help when I ask.

The only thing I can suggest is getting a counsellor and telling him what is happening and then invite your mother and grandmother along. The problem is they won't listen to you because they are older and feel they have authority over you. For them to be told by someone of authority I'm sure they would listen. You can't leave it like it is thats for sure. It's not fair on you, and it will bring you down.

Do not stand for it you are the mother, he is your son, where you go, he goes. What you say, Goes! I hope things work out xxx
Thriver
Thriver
The only solution may be to get out on your own. As long as you are depending on them for anything, they seem to feel that somehow you don't have the authority. Sometimes people can't respect you if you are dependent.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Try to communicate your feelings to them if they will listen. I understand my daughters are 18 and 12 and my parents still do that. It is hard (sometimes impossible) for them to see you as an adult. Even though you are an adult and a good mom.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am going through almost the same thing with my mother. I have 2 boys, 6 and 3, and I cant even talk to them without her butting in. They ask ME a question, and before I can take a breath, she answers the question! Whatever it is.. SHE puts in her two cents. Even with dicipline. We dont live with her, but she watches them while I work. I work full time, and she lives down the block from us. She also cooks dinner every night and expects us to eat with her. m trying to slowly break away. But I DO feel bad. I need her. I couldnt do what I do without her. Ive tries to talk to her nicely, but it doesnt seem to help. I feel stuck..
deleted_user
deleted_user
From my personal experience with older family members, I could tell you this. The more you depend upon them, the more they feel "entitled" to take over.