Single Parenting Support Group
Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.
I have a 2 and a half year old son who I love more than anything, but recently I have had a really really hard time. I am only 22 and was married when I got pregnant, so I never meant to do this alone. I was fine for the first year or so, but now I feel like throwing in the towel...I know he is a toddler and is going to test boundries, but I feel like I spend 24 hours a day saying nothing but 'no, put that down, no, stop it, no no no' and then there is the whole dating scene where when I tell men about my son they assume I am just trying to find a daddy for my son and run away as quickly as possible, no matter how I try to expliain it. Add to that we are barely paying the bills while my ex lives in Colorado and goes snowboarding every weekend...I dunno and lately I have even been having feelings of resentment toward him because I can never leave the house or see my friends or do anything without him, I know that is horrible to say and I feel soooo guilty for even admitting to it, but I don't know how to stop feeling that way, its like sometimes I don't even want to be near him, and what kind of horrible mother feels that way about her own child?!!??! I don't know what to do and I just feel sooooo stuck. Anyone have any ideas/suggestions?
Sounds like you're feeling a little burned out, which hanging around with a 2-yr-old will do. As you say, he's testing boundaries and learning to be independent, but he's still very dependent and requires guidance every minute. That definitely does NOT make you a horrible mother, far from it! It makes you a committed mom who's giving it everything she's got.
Do you have family, friends, church who could help you get a break? Leaving him with a trusted caregiver for a couple hours on a weekend or evening can make a huge difference -- for you, and also for him, and the caregiver will probably also love it. :)
It's hard for a guy who doesn't have kids of his own to "get" what it's like for you. One of these days, a guy will come along who loves you for who you are, and loves your little boy without trying to step into shoes that aren't his.
God bless you!
As far as dating I have had my fair share of men run at the mention of kids. I learned to take it with a grain of salt and know that he was not the one for me. I actually work with a man that thinks that every single mother is looking for "Just add dad". I got a hold of him one day and explained that not every single mother is looking for that and I am tired of being put in that category. My kids have a dad and do not need another one. He stopped saying it around me.
I still do not date much, but I do get out more now. You really have to, for sanity sake. You will be just fine! If you ever need to vent about anything, just holler....