Single Parenting Support Group
Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.
I am newly sober. My daughter is eleven now. During her childhood I sat in my room drinking, taking pills, and smoking weed. She never saw me, and when she did I was a total zombie. I realize that I have forever tainted her views on what a man should be. I'm afraid she'll seek out the wrong kind of men, or that she will be desperate for male attention. I feel that I've ruined her childhood. I try to be there for her now, but she doesn't want much to do with me. I don't blame her at all. They say that addicts have a disease. I'm not so sure about that. I see what I did as selfishness. The guilt is crushing me. How can I forgive myself, and go on living, knowing what I've done to this little girl?
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I have 3 kids. 24. 17. 15. My 17 yr old has become super defiant. He and his 15 yr old sister have on their own decision stopped going to their dads because he and his household is so toxic.My 15 yr old and myself feel like we have to tip toe around my son who is 17. And physically towers over us and out weighs us. He has become emotionally abusive and on the verge of becoming physically...
She needs to hear you verbally take responsibility for your past mistakes and apologise to her for letting her down, acknowledge how hard it would of been for her , do not assume you know but more that you could imagine what she has been through .
let her know it's okay to be angry and disappointed in you as you are with your self and that you hope that one day when she is ready ,she will forgive you .
Tell her how proud you are of her strength and how much you love her ,let her know you will do what ever it takes to be the father she so badly needs and wants . Do as many father daughter dates as you can . You need to earn her love and trust back and after hard work this can be done .
My father did this with me ,when I was in my 20's ,seeing and hearing him apologise and knowledge his past mistakes and the hurt and regret he was going through ,showed me that he was just as venerable as myself and he was only human . I am now 41 and we are best friends and stronger than ever .
Little girls just want to know it was not their fault and their daddy loves them .
Our children look up to us ,they forget that we are human and we too are learning lessons and that we will make mistakes .
As a side note don't promise her things you can't deliver , let her know you are human and you will make more mistakes but you will always try to learn from them and be there for her .
I hope this helps you in some way , getting clean was the first and hardest step to take ,be proud of your self .It's not easy facing our demons and taking them on . Learn to forgive yourself and look forward to the man /father you are becoming .