Im sorry it's so incredibly long! I'm feeling really confused right now. 

I left my daughters father when she was 1 year old after he raped me in front of her (whilst staring at her!), he has tried to sleep with my sister who was 17 at the time, kept touching her and forcing her to touch him and she kept throwing his hands back at him, telling him to leave etc. 

he has touched himself inappropriately in front of my other sister when she was 13. 

I didn't know these things until just before ending the relationship, no one told me anything. The girls were told not to tell me by our older siblings because it would ruin my relationship with my daughters father.... I'm still incredibly disgusted and furious that they would think of how it would affect my ex over my daughters safety. My sister thought it was just a misunderstanding (the girls didn't give much detail and the incidents happened at least a  year apart) 

anyway. There's been a number of issues as well as my gut telling me not to leave him with the baby alone from day one, but I had thought that was just because he didn't care about her, wouldn't actually supervise her at all. would flat out ignore my wishes. Constantly fall asleep anywhere without any notice and isn't easy to wake up. And so on. 

Well when I left him I moved states to be with my family. 

He has just moved to my state for his work. 

He hadn't seen our daughter in over 2 years. 

He asked to see her and so I said yes and arranged and had a friend come with me. 

The visit didn't go well. He's still very much wishing I was his and made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. He refused to listen to me about anything at all, especially when I would tell him our daughter is NOT to sit on his lap. 

He hasn't seen her in over 2 years and yet he was telling her to kiss him and wouldn't stop until she did. Tried the excuse of wanting a photo of him and her together as a reason for her to sit on his lap but refused my offers to take photos of them together for him where they weren't sitting at a table or on his lap. 

He kept trying to walk us to the car after us saying no many times. 

Expected a lift to the train station. 

He turned up very late to the visit so there was only just under 30 minutes if the visit. 

Kept telling our daughter to go right up the top of he playground- which she found very scary and would cry that she was stuck and scared and ask mummy to save her. I would tell her to play on the first level with the small slide. He would then straight away jump in and start telling her to go right up high, as high as she can saying how cool it is and it's a pink slide, you can do it, you are so brace, don't worry just go up there, it's fun, just go up. I would keep telling him to stop as he knows she's scared of the higher levels and I'd then tell her not to go up high and just stay down on the level she feels safe on but he would talk right over top of me telling her to go up again! 

I had to climg in the equipment to get her down which he found hilarious. He took the opportunity to try and question my friend about me because I wouldn't answer his questions. 

Matter I got her down he told her to go back up and convinced her to go down the very steep slide, she tried to slow herself down in the slide which resulted in her burning her hand on the plastic of the slide from her skin running on it the whole way down. He tried to use that opportunity to be close to me and talk over her telling me what happened. I had to tell him to stop. Saying I know what she did, she's also telling me what happened and I'm trying to listen to her and talk to her. Please just stop and let me talk to her for a minute- I had to pull her out of his arms as she was crying and reaching for me. 

There was other issues too that day as well as many other issues throughout the time I was in a relationship with him (such as when she was 4 weeks old he threatened to kidnap her and told me I'd never be able to find her no matter how hard I tried or where I looked for her and then again when she was closer to 1)

when i was leaving him he said if I leave him I'm not allowed to take the baby. I said that would actually mean you would have to care for her which includes feeding her, changing her, putting her to bed, waking up with her, comforting her, supervising her and not falling asleep, waking up when she cries etc. 

he said he could do it. I then asked him if he felt she was actually safe around him and his response was "I'd like to think I wouldn't do anything to my own daughter.."

there was A LOT of doubt in his tone and wording!

Im honestly just so stuck. I don't know what to do. I doubt he would take me to court- he wants to avoid court st all costs, even when it came up about his son from his previous relationship he said he WILL NOT go to court and will just give her what she wants to avoid court. I asked why as he would always claim it was because of money. If I tried to question it further he would shut the whole convo down and refuse to discuss it at all and would change the subject completely. 

Matter what happened with me and my sisters I feel he's even more unlikely to want it to go to court.

But now I'm in a tricky position.

Do I continue visits?

Or

do i stop visits and just try to stick to skype and phone calls only?

I have to be careful still because family court in Australia is really serious about parental alienation and is very very pro father and some judges are really not fond of mothers. There's also been a number of cases of convicted pedophiles getting visitation/custody of their daughters who have ended up being sexually abused by their fathers! 

Im worried because i really don't have much in the way of evidence! So I worry about being seen as one of 'those' mothers who say father is sexually abusive just to keep the kids away- which is not the case at all. 

Some friends and family believe I should cut physical visitation, other side say keep trying. But I don't want to set a precedence. 

Right now I can fight that she doesn't know him and having him in her life is of no benefit to her and only posses a risk to her, especially as she gets older and even in that first visit it felt very much like he was grooming her as well as myself. 

He handed me $50 in the car park as we started to walk back inside as he was still trying to follow us. He said "buy X something nice. Buy her some Easter eggs or something from me." Which is fine, no biggie, but it was something he would do through the relationship if he had just done something bad and was trying to win me over. (We had Domestic Violence issues- he was very controlling of me and towards the end had done things such as sticking his foot out to trip me over, hitting the wall next to my head, holding my arms while I tried to get away, screaming st me in front of baby, twisting my arm and hand until my phone dropped out of my hand, taking my phone off me and hiding it from me, leaving me with basically no communication to anyone, not allowing me to have people at home without him there, needing to know where I was at all times, not allowing me to buy my own clothes, buy bra's or undies, not allowed to buy any baby clothes including winter clothes that fit her and told me to use his sons old baby clothes which still weren't warm enough, I could go on! But I'll stop now.) 

what woudl tou do??