Single Parenting Support Group

Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.

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Children's Health & Parenting
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Co-parenting

redhead2468
redhead2468
My son's father moved 180 miles away four years ago, after our divorce. He sees our son MAYBE every other weekend for less than 48 hours, and keeps phone conversations with him to maximum of five minutes, when he does decide to call. My frustration is that he has taken me to court recently and right now we are going through mediation because he wants to "co-parent". I have been our son's primary caretaker since the day he was born, even when his father lived with us. Now, and pretty much even then, I am solely responsible for all our son's day-to-day activities and life - school, daycare, medical and dental, housing, clothing, food, friends, guidance and direction... The list goes on and on. But he wants to have a say in how all of this is done, it's his "right as a parent" and he does have legal custody, unfortunately. No ruling from the court yet, but the mediator is in agreement with him. I am so angry I could spit. How can someone this disconnected be allowed to be even considered a "co-parent"? How can I co-parent with someone who has no idea what is going on in this boy's life, and really makes no extra efforts to know? Favorable and oppositional comments welcome. Thanks!
WinterBlossom
WinterBlossom
Ugh. Document every amount of time your child sees his dad. When, where, how long, brief notes on what they did. Keep track of phone calls too. Not sure what the mediator is taking sides on. The state wants to have every parent get 50% of the custody. Life isn't very good for any child that spends half the time here and the other half there. Be thankful that your son is with you a majority of the time. I believe that the fathers who are absent want the 50/50 on paper to eliminate the need for child support, screwing the child over because the more the custodial parent has spend time working the less time the child (who is already missing a parent) has to spend with the custodial parent. So do your documentation and then go back to modify child support with your evidence. Once the child support was raised in my case my ex went almost completely out of the picture. He didn't have to give up any custody on paper, but does have to pay more because there was no denying he was essentially absent from our sons' lives. As far as him having a "say"...just nod and smile and then do what you want without arguing. If you are the custodial parent then you make the decisions. If you are not listed as the custodial parent, then that is another thing you need to modify. Skip the mediator and take it to the judge.
Good luck!
strengthinadversity
strengthinadversity
I think your exes actions speak louder than his words. Moving further away, short phone calls and general low contact with your son ....not exactly the way a father behaves who wants to co-parent. I think this might be 50 50 for him to pay less child support.

Keep a record of dates time phone calls and length, record any contact but most of all be prepared to fight in court by setting forth your evidence of the great job You are doing. Your child needs that stability and its in your child's best interest to remain in the same home. Mediators are supposed to be impartial so I wouldn't be so happy if they were taking sides.

It bothers me so much that family court see children as property to be moved from one place to the next. I mean wtf is wrong with our society, I really hope things go well for you. Xxx