Single Parenting Support Group
Today being raised by a single parent is not uncommon. About three in ten children live in a single parent home. The most common type of single parent home is one with only a mother. However, single father homes are the fastest growing type of family situation; 60% growth in the last ten years alone.
Just recently my ex-boyfriend wants to connect with our son. He wants to spend more time with him because he has relationships with all his kids except my son. He has 3 other children by three other different woman. I know how to pick em right LOL!? Anyway Ive known him for 7 yrs and there were more bad times than good! 90% bad! He was controlling he never hit me but was emotionally abusive. Honestly I dont want my son around him for very good reason! When i first told him I was pregnant he left me alone to deal with this by myself cause he couldnt handle it. He also got another girl pregnant at the same time or he thought he did! The baby ended up not being his but he still in her life. I asked him did he want me to get an abortion and he told me do what you want its your body this coming from a man who said he would always be there for me. He finally came around after monthes of ignoring me and told me if I am going to be in this childs life you have to go by my rules and I am going to take care of him how I want to he told me you have no say so. And if I did say anything in regards to how he was treating our child then there would be problems. He told me I couldnt date anyone else until my son turned 18 there was a hole bunch of BS!
In 2009 he started dating another female and left us completely alone for almost a year he wouldnt talk to me at all. He had nothing to do with us. Because she would get mad if we talked. So with all that being said you get an idea of the type of person he is which is why i dont want my child around him! He has anger issues and I am very uncomfortable with my child being around him. He keeps pressuring me about being in my sons life. How do I address this he is not a normal human being that I can talk to and try and work this out! Its his way or the highway! How do you deal with a person like this? This hurts because I hate to keep my child away from his father but I dont want my son around a man like that at all. Plus my child dosent know him and my son will cry and be under me when he doesent know someone. My ex dosent like this and just automatically thinks well im his dad and he should know me. You have to give a child time. He thinks just because a child crys that they need to be spanked because he dosent want his son to be a sissy his words not mine. THIS SUCKS!
In 2009 he started dating another female and left us completely alone for almost a year he wouldnt talk to me at all. He had nothing to do with us. Because she would get mad if we talked. So with all that being said you get an idea of the type of person he is which is why i dont want my child around him! He has anger issues and I am very uncomfortable with my child being around him. He keeps pressuring me about being in my sons life. How do I address this he is not a normal human being that I can talk to and try and work this out! Its his way or the highway! How do you deal with a person like this? This hurts because I hate to keep my child away from his father but I dont want my son around a man like that at all. Plus my child dosent know him and my son will cry and be under me when he doesent know someone. My ex dosent like this and just automatically thinks well im his dad and he should know me. You have to give a child time. He thinks just because a child crys that they need to be spanked because he dosent want his son to be a sissy his words not mine. THIS SUCKS!
AS for him telling you all that stuff about him being in control, he isn't your father! If he isn't on the bc then please separate your life from his. He sounds scary. Praying for you and yours! Best of luck!
That being said, children need regular, predictable, consistent and wholesome time with their parents.
I'd offer this "father" some sort of schedule and let him know that he can have this time with this child under these conditions but if he has excuses why he can't be there, or anything messed up happens, that the schedule ceases.
You deserve a break and your kid deserves time with the father... but if it's disruptive or unsafe, forget it. Hope that sounds reasonable. Good luck.