Shyness Support Group

Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc. The initial cause of shyness can vary. Scientists have located some genetic data that supports the hypothesis that shyness is at least partially genetic.

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Mental Health
/ Shyness Support Group

Were You Abused Into Being Shy?

Beaumont
Beaumont
Hi, everybody! I suspect that many people who are shy were abused during their childhood and teen years, and some even continue to be abused as s. Abuse can take many forms: verbal, emotional, physical, ual, neglect,...I myself endured a childhood of extreme abuse that included beatings and starvation and denial of contact with s and other people of my own age with whom to play and be friends. I can't say for sure that I even had a childhood. If you are a victim of abuse, or know of anyone who is, please, please, please try to find someone outside of your home and family with whom to talk about it - better yet, find several people with whom to talk. You are too precious a human being to be punished "simply because you exist." You can be a member of more than one community on this website, so check out the "abuse" community! And for everybody, keep trying and keep coming back!

Beaumont
Loved1
Loved1
I see your point. Somewhere we could have learned the "self talk" that leads us to not want to put ourselves out there or when we do to put ourselves down for it. I seem to remember my older sis humliating me when I tried to reach out and be a part of the group. She didn't want her little sis around I was littler and burdensome... wow it's like I internalized that and tell myself it was true, when I just learned it as a child. It's time to reprogram myself to not let her actions be taken personally by me...we are only human. We probably seek that which is familiar and reinforce the feelings. Thank you for sharing that. I think what you brought up is the only hope for people who feel stuck in shyness... I guess it's like a form of self torture and it breaks my heart when people are stuck there. I'm seeing the healthier situations I put myself in the better I feel and the more likely I am to be open to other people with myself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you went through all that abuse as a child. I was never abused or neglected by my parents. I'm not sure why I was shy as a kid, but I think it got a lot worse after middle school and all the mean comments from my peers.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I also was never allowed to play with other kids, I was never even allowed to go out, just school and thats it .I remember kicking down a wall once because my mother would'nt let me go out with a friend to the pool.

My mum and dad were also divorced and I was'nt allowed to go to my dads while my brother and sister were, they got everything. I was like my mothers personal belonging whos feelings don't matter, who only existed to make my mother happier

It makes me sad thinking about this, because I sometimes wonder if I had have been treated like my siblings were, how I would be today.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I to was abused and I do beleive that "was" the cause of my shyness.
SonoraKay
SonoraKay
I know that the abuse and neglect played a huge part in the developing shyness. Having a genetic predisposition to depression did not help at all either.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My parents fought a lot and I was a very violent young child. Then they divorced and then my mom died and now I'm really shy.
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