Shyness Support Group
Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc. The initial cause of shyness can vary. Scientists have located some genetic data that supports the hypothesis that shyness is at least partially genetic.
Hello there! Funny isn't it, or actually not, that life can play unfair and cruel tricks on us? As a child, I was not allowed to play by myself or with anyone else, so I did not develop the motor skills others take for granted. When I finally escaped my abusive family at the age of 17, if anyone would throw something at me for me to catch (a ball, a pen, or any small item), I would invariably not be able to catch it and the object would fall to the ground - to my shameful embarrasment. In my head, I put this together with the fact that my mother had poor motor skills as well, and she never drove a car or had a driver's license. My father told me that I was stupid, and called me "that thing." I assumed that because I could not catch objects with my hands as my mother couldn't, that there must be something terribly wrong with me, and that like my mother, I shouldn't get a driver's license or drive a car (I don't want to be the cause of an accident that might kill somebody). Not so. Not so. Definately not so! My father simply never played catch with me, and nobody else did either, so I never learned! With practice comes skill. "Skill to do comes of doing." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I just need a chance to play catch with somebody now so I can learn - I hope it's not too late. Are there any other people in the shy community who are living with misperceptions about themselves? Do you perhaps believe that you are in some way defective, inferior, even subhuman? Let me tell you that you are not! More than likely, the people around you are not helpful to you, and never give you a fair chance to develop yourself. "All that other folks can do, why with patience should not you?" (from the poem, "Try, Try Again"). Shy one (that's you!), please keep trying. Take every chance you can to practice and strengthen your abilities - social skills, motor skills, life skills... Never listen to anyone who tells you that you are inferior or not good enough - not even to yourself if that's what you've been telling yourself. You have within you the makings of an exceptional human being. Make it so. Now I've got to get back to practicing smiling. Have an excellent day!
Beaumont
Beaumont
Loved1
Your share reminded me of a book I read recently "A man named Dave" by Dave Pelzer(author of a "Child called it" I think it was called). It was extremely inspirational. He was painfully shy after having gone through a very abusive upbringing. It was helpful to see how he overcame stuff to become successful. He put into practice what you suggest and it was a long hard road but he did it.
OrphanAnnie
Oh, how I can relate to your experiences! I didn't have the abuse that you did but my parents were people who didn't really like kids. And what got my attention was your being unable to catch things. I had no one in my family to teach me these things, and in school was too frightened to play with others (and too often the butt of their jokes). I was in my 30s before I even had the courage to let someone try throwing a ball to me. (I still can't catch but I'm wicked good at throwing accurately.) Like you, I've spent my life watching others and imitating and learning social skills -- how to chat, how to stand, how to respond "normally" to others. It may never come naturally, but after some decades I'm thought of by a number of people as really nice and friendly, and most people would say I'm well liked. I still have lots to learn, but reading your post reminded me of how much I've accomplished -- and I can see you've accomplished even more. Thank you so much for sharing that!
deleted_user
I enjoy reading what you write and I agree with Loved1 and Orphan Annie. I actually believed I was mentally retarded when I was a kid. So much harsh treatment... followed by neglect. My parents worked hard and weren't around much. Some deeply disturbed individuals got to play a huge part in my life. But that's over now! And I truely am growing by the day!
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