Shyness Support Group
Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc. The initial cause of shyness can vary. Scientists have located some genetic data that supports the hypothesis that shyness is at least partially genetic.
Hello all, very happy to have found a place to share and communicate. I'm a recent college grad and while I was in school I never thought of myself as shy or felt shy while I was there, I was in a stinking sorority, it was my job to talk to people! After I graduated though, I started dating a guy who is 4 years older than me and into his career. As a real estate agent, he is always talking to people and very good at it. I started to notice that I had less and less to say around ANYONE all of a sudden because with all of the people around, and me not being into my teaching career (my shyness is really just with other adults..), I didn't feel good enough - always lacking experience and knowledge of those well into their lives.
And one night we were out to drinks at a bar with a large group (8-10 people) and I knew only my boyfriend there. Something happened that I had never experienced before. It started when I got so self-conscious about what I would say that I had missed the "time" to jump into the conversation. Then my mind went spiraling out from there, "Now I haven't talked for 2 minutes they think I'm weird" "What is everyone thinking about the fact that I'm not saying anything...am I being rude?" "They obviously don't want me in the conversation they're carrying along fine"..so many negative thoughts and my mouth was just glued shut it felt like. When it was time to leave the bar I felt so embarrassed and angry that I had gone quiet that I felt even worse about myself after. It was mentally exhausting! I am very aware of my surroundings, sometimes to a fault and with this "being frozen" situation happening more and more my perception of people around me is getting warped into the idea that no one would want to talk to me.
I've got some literature on overcoming shyness, but I want to hear about other people's experiences and how you can try to talk yourself out of this frozen state. Or hear that someone else has felt this. I shared this with my bf and he tries to understand but he's so extraverted that talking to strangers is second nature to him.
In parties I’m similar to you in the frozen stage.
I try not to initiate any sort of social contact, even important ones like interviews or when I volunteer or if I’m hungry. I’ve read that those with Spina Bifida tend to have issues with executive function. Perhaps that’s the problem. But I have yet to find a solution.