Shyness Support Group
Shyness is a feeling of insecurity that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc. The initial cause of shyness can vary. Scientists have located some genetic data that supports the hypothesis that shyness is at least partially genetic.
Hello, my wonderful friends!
Does anyone have life experiences about eye contact that they'd like to share?
Among friendly outgoing people, eye contact is generally recognized as a good thing. Failure to make appropriate eye contact may be regarded as an indication of dishonesty, rudeness, shyness, or disregard for another person.
Among hostile anti-social people, eye contact is generally recognized as something to avoid. Direct eye contact may be interpreted as aggressiveness, intent to harm, disrespect, or refusal to accept tion.
I live in a large city with huge numbers of extemely impoverished homeless people and illegal aliens, yet a large population of wealthy people. Very few people fit into the "in-between" category. I am never entirely sure of how much eye contact to make with anyone, so to avoid problems, I make no eye contact with anyone. I don't like having to live like this. I would like to be able to use eye contact the way friendly outgoing people do.
What's it like where you live? Is eye contact mostly comfortable for you? Do you make direct eye contact with strangers you pass on the street, or would they threaten to harm you if you look at them? What do you think people communicate with eye contact?
Beaumont
Does anyone have life experiences about eye contact that they'd like to share?
Among friendly outgoing people, eye contact is generally recognized as a good thing. Failure to make appropriate eye contact may be regarded as an indication of dishonesty, rudeness, shyness, or disregard for another person.
Among hostile anti-social people, eye contact is generally recognized as something to avoid. Direct eye contact may be interpreted as aggressiveness, intent to harm, disrespect, or refusal to accept tion.
I live in a large city with huge numbers of extemely impoverished homeless people and illegal aliens, yet a large population of wealthy people. Very few people fit into the "in-between" category. I am never entirely sure of how much eye contact to make with anyone, so to avoid problems, I make no eye contact with anyone. I don't like having to live like this. I would like to be able to use eye contact the way friendly outgoing people do.
What's it like where you live? Is eye contact mostly comfortable for you? Do you make direct eye contact with strangers you pass on the street, or would they threaten to harm you if you look at them? What do you think people communicate with eye contact?
Beaumont
so...what i notice is that where people think they sense a big cultural or economic difference there is less eye contact, and also tension in their spoken words if they have to talk to each other. in the area where i live, i don't think anyone would threaten to harm someone if they made eye contact that they didn't like...the most they would get is probably some taunting or rude remarks or nasty looks in return. but in other areas here, looking at someone wrong does start fights and other things up. for me, sometimes eye contact is uncomfortable and other times not...depending on how my mood is, i make more eye contact with people i don't know--i guess if i'm in a better place mentally or emotionally, i'm not as afraid of being rejected.
i agree with what you're saying about what people communicate with eye contact...i think it also says a lot about how open or accepting of the other person we are...you can make eye contact with someone and make them feel totally worthless with it, or you can make them feel welcomed and wanted. unfortunately first glances make a lot of difference in how relationships develop...i read somewhere that first impressions are made within the first 6 seconds of seeing or meeting someone. i don't like having to wonder how much or whether to make eye contact at all either...it makes me feel alienated.
then I moved to area where eye contact wasn't good. my sister use to get mad at me for smiling and saying high to people. because she said I was being to friendly to people, which mostly men would try and talk to me (go figure) and do not have eye contact with bums because they will ask you for money...which they did lol. so then I reverted to no eye contact.
so now I live where eye contact and smiling is somewhat polite again! but of course now shyness has taken over!! so now at a new job I am going to have to pratice eye contact! on the interview I did eye contact I swear my eyes were going to fall out!! but I will try to keep it up!! I am going to try and not act shy!! act like a normal person LOL