My parents encouraged me to be more social but I think it made me feel more like their was something wrong with me. It hurt my self-esteem because I knew my parents, and everyone else, wanted me to be more social but I failed. I think if parents were more accepting of their shy children it would help raise their self-esteem and maybe make them open up more and be less shy in the end. If kids want to be quiet around other people I think parents just need to accept that. Criticism adds to low self-esteem and low self-esteem tends to strengthen shyness. I think positive reinforcement is probably best. When shy kids do come out of their shell be supportive and let them know that people like to hear what they have to say.

I feel that the way I was brought up prolly did not help with my shyness...If someone spoke to me...Before I had a chance to answer my Mum would answer for me...In the end I just allowed her to answer for me...

My Mum once told me that it was difficult bringing up a shy child..."Eh?"..."Why?"...I have now got 4 quiet...happy...well adjusted kids...I accept them for who they are...All 4 have got different personalities as well as being more introvert...

I sort of feel that if someone told me that I could do it, maybe I would have tried.

I have a friend who was shy like me as a child and her mom told her that she "could do it." She ended up taking more chances and becoming way more social than I was.

How much do you think positive encouragment has to do with being shy and doing better?

I do think that some people have shy tendencies. I remember reading about a study when I was in college that supported the concept of in born tendancies, but I agree that the influence of others stacks up as well.

I remember an optimist club singling me out and providing me some reinforcement (without a negative after taste). Thier reinforcement left me with memories that helped me feel more confident in acedemic-social situations. I probably would not have hed much confidence to present in college, for assingments, well enough to pass without their influence.

I believe in the combination of nature and nurture. A lot of your shyness has to do with your personality, who you are. But also a lot of it has to do with how you grew up, and how people around you treat you.

For me, I am naturally introverted. I didn't talk until I was 4 years old (my dad thought I needed to see a psychiatrist!). And I'm still introverted today. But because my parents have always been supportive of me, and listened to me when I did talk, etc., I am more confident than I might have been. And it's when the people around me don't listen or are not supportive about my shyness, that pushes me further into myself.