Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female Support Group
Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are diseases or infections that have a significant probability of transmission between humans by means of sexual contact. This community is devoted to helping any women seeking support with STDs, whether you have one or you know someone else who does.
Hi there. I will first introduce myself. My name is Natalie, and I am 21 years old. While no having anything relationships in high school, I have had a number of one night stands for someone my age. I finally had a boyfriend just this past summer, but that ended due to the fact the I was moving across seas.
I have a new boyfriend here... he was a virgin before I met him. And about a month after we getting together for the first time, I had an outbreak. I wouldn't actually call it an outbreak, it was as mild as mild could be. The only time it was uncomfortable was when I would pull up my panties, or ride my bike. I went to get it checked out anyways, and my doctor took a swab, and seemed pretty confident that it was herpes. I waited till I got the results, which turned out to be negative. I was so happy that it wasn't true, because, one, I would have zero idea on whom I got it from and two, I wouldn't have passed it to my new boyfriend.
I was so happy until I read that there is a high percentage of false-negatives. So I asked my doctor about getting a blood test done. After waiting a week and a half to get my blood work done, I just got the results. Positive that I have had herpes in my body.
Now I am an emotional wreck. My ex boyfriend says that he hasn't experience an outbreak, and same goes to a one time thing with a friend, shortly after my ex and I broke up. What kills me the most is that I could have given it to the ex, the fling and my current boyfriend. How terrible is it that my boyfriend gets it from the first girl he has been with! I feel so dirty, and the fact that it is something I have to live with for the rest of my life, and I also feel obliged to tell future potentials about it. I mean, I am 21! I wouldn't call myself careless when it came to sex, I always used a condom. I almost always asked! I even got checked yearly! (which I just found out, they don't test for herpes in those check ups).
I just really need some advice from you. How did you coup when you first found out? Do you and your partner talk about it, and have you given it to your partner, or vice versa? It really makes me never want to have sex again.
I have a new boyfriend here... he was a virgin before I met him. And about a month after we getting together for the first time, I had an outbreak. I wouldn't actually call it an outbreak, it was as mild as mild could be. The only time it was uncomfortable was when I would pull up my panties, or ride my bike. I went to get it checked out anyways, and my doctor took a swab, and seemed pretty confident that it was herpes. I waited till I got the results, which turned out to be negative. I was so happy that it wasn't true, because, one, I would have zero idea on whom I got it from and two, I wouldn't have passed it to my new boyfriend.
I was so happy until I read that there is a high percentage of false-negatives. So I asked my doctor about getting a blood test done. After waiting a week and a half to get my blood work done, I just got the results. Positive that I have had herpes in my body.
Now I am an emotional wreck. My ex boyfriend says that he hasn't experience an outbreak, and same goes to a one time thing with a friend, shortly after my ex and I broke up. What kills me the most is that I could have given it to the ex, the fling and my current boyfriend. How terrible is it that my boyfriend gets it from the first girl he has been with! I feel so dirty, and the fact that it is something I have to live with for the rest of my life, and I also feel obliged to tell future potentials about it. I mean, I am 21! I wouldn't call myself careless when it came to sex, I always used a condom. I almost always asked! I even got checked yearly! (which I just found out, they don't test for herpes in those check ups).
I just really need some advice from you. How did you coup when you first found out? Do you and your partner talk about it, and have you given it to your partner, or vice versa? It really makes me never want to have sex again.
What it boils down to is I felt like I needed to tell him. He is a kind, understanding non-judgemental person. He told me to take a deep breath and not worry. I am not dirty, nasty or any of those awful things I had in my head. He simply said, it happens and I love you no less than before you told me. He also said that he appreciated that I felt comfortable enough to tell him.
Everyone is different...my advice is be honest, upfront and know your worth. This does NOT define you! This is NO indication of who you are as a person!
**Ps I did not know that Herpes 1 & 2 are genetically the same except for one thing, its "host" site. Herpes 1 has a host site of the oral area and 2 is genitals. Although it is not as common someone can have 1 in 2's area and vice versa. It is the SAME thing as oral herpes just a different host. We don't have a stigma about oral herpes . . genital herpes is just that a STIGMA not a DEATH sentence. **
I hope that this helps...please feel free to reach out if you ever need honest, heartfelt encouragement!
My name is Hilary, and I am 22 years old. I was just diagnosed with herpes yesterday, based solely on an exam, I'm still waiting on my blood test results, but the doc seemed pretty sure. I know how you're feeling, I contracted the virus when I lost my virginity, like two weeks ago. I confronted the guy, I was so upset, I wanted to beat the living crap out of him. He wasn't even my boyfriend, he was just some guy I decided to have sex with because I was tired of being a virgin. He said he had no idea he had herpes, he had never had a single symptom. I didn't believe him, so I started doing some research. Approximately 80% of people who have HSV2 never experience a single symptom, and although it is the fastest spreading STI in the United States (about 1 in every 5 people has it), the CDC recommended AGAINST free/cheap health clinics testing for it. Which means that the vast majority of those 80% of people will never know they have herpes, and are at a higher risk of spreading it. The guy I was with got checked on a regular basis, and assured me he was clean. He did his homework, he thought he was clean. It wasn't his fault for not knowing, and condoms don't always protect against Genital Herpes.
I'm telling you all of this because I don't want you to blame yourself.
The 5 stages of grief are:
1. Denial/Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
You may not think this is something you'll experience these stages for, but trust me you will. I know I did/am. I completely isolated myself from everyone regarding it and denied that it was even happening for days. Then whenI finally dealt with it, I nearly took a baseball bat to the guy's truck. I'm sorta stuck in the bargaining stage now...and I know depression is coming. You kinda sound like you're still in the denial stage, but this post is from a long time ago. How are you doing now?