Sexual Assault Community Group

Women and men around the world are getting sexually assaulted everyday. This will be a friendly place for victims talk about what has happened to them.

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Relationships & Sexuality
/ Sexual Assault Support Group

Scared and alone

PerfectlyBroken95
PerfectlyBroken95

I have had many struggles going on in my head these days. The struggles from my past experience of having my mom's boyfriend take advantage of an 8 year olds naivety and then a 15 year that wanted to know if it felt the same going for her stepdad who fell for it. I think my stepdad was my fault. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted to know if it felt as good as it did was I was 8. Even if I know it was wrong, my body didn't tell me that. 



Then I have the inner struggle of wishing I wasn't a survivor. Maybe the people that have been killed after their sexual assault are actually the lucky ones. They don't have to figure out how to straighten out their head. They don't have to figure out how to still call their abuser dad. Maybe I am not one of the lucky ones. 



I also have the struggle with my new boyfriend. He knows everything. He had a guess the first day he met me. Now, he thinks that there is something wrong evrytiem that I actually enjoy the intimacy with him without holding back.



Is there anything that isn't wrong with me?

CasMac1
CasMac1
sorry meant to write but been very sick , will write you on Monday . Keep hanging on. casey
cwillis495
cwillis495
It takes a long time to sort out, that's for sure... and not entirely sure myself if it's ever fully sorted- but you arent broken or wrong either, and you can still enjoy being intimate when it's safe to. I think there's a strange guilt or something to that- but just because there's so much confusion and pain doesn't mean connecting with someone can't still be a positive experience.
Patrick72
Patrick72
I'm so sorry this all happened to you I wish you nothing but peace healing strength and please be kind to yourself remember you are worth it
Cheryl94
Cheryl94
The first thing I personally had to learn was that not everybody is the same. For good and for worse. It’s the hardest struggle and sometimes I feel like every gift or well intentioned compliment is a ploy to get to that vulnerable side of me. But 99% of the time it’s my own mind trying to over-protect me.