thats such a horrible dream to have, im so sorry. i now what you mean by find out who your friends are....when i tried to talk about it, my friend told me to get help and get over, then she told her brother that she was in his room to rape him(said it as a joke) with me right next to her, then she told me that we can't be scared of life, im terrified of it. i havent really wanted to talk to her lately either, but she always aking me to hang out, every day!!!!

I told her that I am scared to death to go grocery shopping, because of the guys in the building. Her response was that public places are safer and changed the subject on me. All I wanted was to see if she would go with me, and help me through this. I know realize that she is no friend to me. I wish that people would think before they speak. Their words have a major impact on us. If they speak negatively then we feel ten times worse than if they said nothing at all.

I am so sorry for your dream hon. I am also sorry you call this person a friend because she is not your friend. A true friend will get up and talk to you all night if that is what it takes to make you feel better.

She told me when I was attacked that I could call her anytime that I needed to talk or vent. But everytime that I call her she doesn't answer. Why say that I can call you if you don't mean it?

Oh, that is bad dream, I hate those dreams, wake up sweaty and feeling anxiety - I too, can remember some of those dreams, hope you have better dreams -- we are deserving of the best dreams

I am so sorry to hear about your girlfriend. But I am glad to hear I am not the only one with that problem.Everyone tells me I need to get over it and really don't want to hear it. Others that aren't victims don't understand which really is sad but this site is great it makes me feel that I am not alone in this! Feel better you are not alone in this.

I am so sorry to hear about your dream. They can be so real sometimes. I am also sorry about your friend. What we have to realize is sometimes out friends want to be there for us but the information we want to share is just too much for them. It is possible that it is just more than she herself thought she could handle and doesn't know what to do or say.

I would not suggest giving up on this friendship. We have to remember there are different types of people in the world..I know so many people that are what I call surface livers..they live everything on the surface in life..nothing ever really bothers them and they are the ones that say "get over it" or you past doesn't matter in the present...etc

Then there are those who know why they are here and are deeper in their thinking. They have experienced things and found out that their is more to life that food, sleep and work.

There are people that are very spiritual and have so many elements in their world and dig deeper for answers etc.

So, we have to pick the people we want in our own lives. I myself like deeper individuals but an even balance is good in ones life. This friend of yours may not be the one that you can turn to in times of crisis but that doesn't mean that she doesn't love and care for you!!

I would suggest talking to a therapist about what has happened to you and keep your friends for enjoying and living!!

With love!

I have to agree with surviv101... Don't write her off as a friend. She may not continue to be your "best friend" but she has been your friend because you like her.

Not everyone is equiped to handle the trama that we have gone through. People who have never been abused don't realize the deep scars that are left within us.

Instead, find someone who you can talk to in your dark times and keep her in mind for the days when you feel good and want to have someone to laugh with.

(sorry i did not mean to hit add yet)

I am sorry you are having a bad time right now and hope that through counseling you can work through this rough period!

Love and light

Thank you. I hope that the nightmares stop soon. I am not getting a lot of sleep lately.

man that nightmare is not nice! sorry your having such a horrible one.
I also have many experiences with friends that tell you get over it. My own sister has said that to me..and shes a COUNSELOR!!! hello!!
anyway, I've learned that anyone that can't even listen, isn't equipped to.
It had hurt my friendships. I tried to understand them instead. which only made me resent the hell out of them.
then there is my husband, the one person I thought I could count on all these years.
even he can't stand it.
but I told him he had to come and listen to my counselor and how to deal with it and help me in the process. He is very open to it, and he has been way better. much more compassion.

sometimes I read these things to him, so he realizes, it's not just me, that there are thousands and millions of people going through this crap.
No one can tell you what to do with your friendship, only you can decide that. I could've divorced my husband, because I started being so angry with him for not understanding. had he not gone to counseling with me, to understand the condition..I would've seperated from him
the friends that brought me down, I let go of. maybe someday in the future, I can be around them, but for now, knowing they don't want me around..I'm not beggin to be loved and understood. I think If they love you enough, they learn the problem to help you.
and you won't find many that will.
but you do have a lot of people here on DS that will be there for you. I stick with DS and my family.
they know what's happening to me and they are trying really hard to help me with it.
I hope your horrible nightmare stops. And you can figure out its meaning. because if you talk about it, write it down, you may find that it helps,and bring it to a counselor...they can help immensly.
big hug for you...

Thank you.