Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Will I ever feel normal again...

Nic1990
Nic1990

I don't remember what it's like anymore. Being normal, not feeling like an empty shell of person who doesn't deserve to be here anymore. I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I know I was raped when I was 7 years old, but I don't feel like that person anymore. From what I can remember, she had happiness in her life. A loving family, friends... All I can think is that I must have been an awful person to be punished like this. One step after another in this world, my life has got worse and worse. What could I have possibly done that was so terrible to provoke such an existance?

donnawanda
donnawanda
I am very sorry for what you've been through. I assure you that your life can get better again. Healing is possible and very rewarding.
WallbrownF
WallbrownF
First, know that you are loved. We are here for you. You are not being punished, but are a victim of an unfortunate event. DW is right: life can get better again.

Second, you have to understand that normality is different for everyone and shaped by the lie of society. You are different and beautiful and unique. It is good for us all to not be the same. The interesting thing about life is meeting people that are different than you and getting to know them.
Nic1990
Nic1990
Thank you both for your comments. I feel so isolated in my life at the moment. I've never told anyone that I was assaulted. I always read stories about people who tell their family and get all the support that they need, but I know that won't be the case in mine. For one thing, my mother doesn't even believe that rape exists and I don't really have anyone else that I could talk to about it.
donnawanda
donnawanda
It's incredible that your mother doesn't believe rape exists - that's a very high level of denial. I know that some women deny the reality of rape because they don't want to face their own fear and vulnerability.

There is a chatline you can write to at RAINN.org as well as a hotline.

You are most welcome to keep sharing here. You will find plenty of support and understanding. I suspect there may be support and understanding available in your community too ... rainn.org could help you find local resources.
NomadicSpore
NomadicSpore
And I have felt the same exact way. Many years of my life I felt exactly the way you were describing. It is not your fault you did nothing wrong. You are loved and I love you. See if you can find a therapist that specializes in sexual abuse trauma. That's what I did after years of wanting to die and then eventually attempting suicide. Private message me if you'd like I'd be more than happy to talk to you. I can see the depression and the emptiness the guilt in the shame is much much much better and continues to get better every day. There is a way out and it was not your fault. I was molested for 7 years by an older family member starting at the age of 8. I know you pain. It's not your fault.
hopefulmama
hopefulmama
I think it is important to know that most families do not support the victim,sad I know.And I don't say this to make you feel worse.My daughter was molested by a male cousin and her grandparents decided to support him,hired him a lawyer and said they would move him out of the country if need be..So many women stay with their husband who abused their child,families are torn apart.its unfortunate but I think you have to find that one person who will support you,even if it is not family.The denial is their problem and it's up to you to end the cycle.Tell your family and don't be ashamed,secrets are deadly.Be proud of telling and don't let them tell you it's not true.also try looking into advocacy work or volunteering.My daughter is 13 and has given a speech about her abuse and she felt so empowered.God has given you what he knows you can handle,you just need to know you can.
WallbrownF
WallbrownF
Thank you for sharing and welcome (sorry for the short reply before, I didn't have much time, but I wanted you to know that we were here for you). I hope that you will continue visiting us on the forum for us to help you and for you to help others with your story and the experience gained over the process of healing. Know that there is love for you here and we want you to heal.

It is true that family seldom supports the victim. My sisters were abused as children and teenagers and not supported. My nieces were abused and not supported. And, most recently, my wife has been abused and not supported (except by me). It is quite the opposite actually, they have almost demonized her for "cheating" on me. We (as a society) need to better understand the prevalence and perspective of rape. We not only deny how often it happens, but so many believe that it is only a certain way (i.e. violent or non-married couples). Please try to see a therapist. I believe that a good one could help you a great deal. Love & Hugs
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