Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Why Children Dont Tell
Posted by Boriana Todorova on May 2, 2013 | 0 comments
There are many possible reasons why children do not report the sexual abuse. These are some of the reasons why sexually abused children never tell, and in fact the silence is what empowers the abuser.
Children dont have the language for it, they dont know what is sex, touching, penetration. All this is a completely new thing for them and they just dont know how to describe it.
Children dont make a difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
Children are usually warned by their parents not to trust strangers, but in fact only 5-6% of the sexually abused children are abused by strangers. In all the other cases the abuser is someone who the child knows, a parent, a relative, a family friend, a teacher, a coach, a priest.
Children dont realize this is an abuse and a crime if it does not cause them physical pain
Children feel guilty if they feel physical pleasure, which is just a natural body response to the sexual stimulation, but physiological pleasure does not mean an emotional pleasure, and this is difficult for children to understand.
Children are ashamed of the abuse, and of themselves in general
Children are afraid that if they tell everyone will blame them for the abuse
Children believe the abuse was their own fault, because they did not do anything to stop it
Children think this is something that happens to all children
Children think no one will believe their story
Children are afraid of being punished, rejected, or not believed
Children believe they might be hurt even worst by the abuser if they try to resist
Children are afraid for themselves and their families, in case that the abuser is aggressive and threatening
- See more at: http://riseaboveabuse.org/2013/05/why-children-dont-tell/#sthash.SxTrcJLI.dpuf
Posted by Boriana Todorova on May 2, 2013 | 0 comments
There are many possible reasons why children do not report the sexual abuse. These are some of the reasons why sexually abused children never tell, and in fact the silence is what empowers the abuser.
Children dont have the language for it, they dont know what is sex, touching, penetration. All this is a completely new thing for them and they just dont know how to describe it.
Children dont make a difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
Children are usually warned by their parents not to trust strangers, but in fact only 5-6% of the sexually abused children are abused by strangers. In all the other cases the abuser is someone who the child knows, a parent, a relative, a family friend, a teacher, a coach, a priest.
Children dont realize this is an abuse and a crime if it does not cause them physical pain
Children feel guilty if they feel physical pleasure, which is just a natural body response to the sexual stimulation, but physiological pleasure does not mean an emotional pleasure, and this is difficult for children to understand.
Children are ashamed of the abuse, and of themselves in general
Children are afraid that if they tell everyone will blame them for the abuse
Children believe the abuse was their own fault, because they did not do anything to stop it
Children think this is something that happens to all children
Children think no one will believe their story
Children are afraid of being punished, rejected, or not believed
Children believe they might be hurt even worst by the abuser if they try to resist
Children are afraid for themselves and their families, in case that the abuser is aggressive and threatening
- See more at: http://riseaboveabuse.org/2013/05/why-children-dont-tell/#sthash.SxTrcJLI.dpuf
What a great list - and so well explained. This will help others to realize that they were not alone and "wrong" in not telling - that there are a LOT of dynamics that are in play when a child is abused, dynamics which play a large part of keeping the abuse to themselves.
I am sure this will help others - please cross-post this in the "incest survivors" forum as well - many survivors need to be able to "look through the eyes of a child' again and realize they were not to blame.
Thanks again - great list and a lot of help in this one post.
Refuse2quit