Growing up was fine for me my mom and younger sister. That is until I was 7. I went through something that most people in my life don’t know. Till this day not even my mom knows. When I was younger my mom was always dating some new guy. He was nice and sweet in the beginning, but then turns evil after a while. After the first boyfriend rapped me I hated all men. So now whenever she told me about a new boyfriend I cried. When it came to her ex’s they only had two things on their minds. One: was beaten the crap out of my mother. I can’t tell you how many times I had to pull a grown ass man off my mother or step in front of a fist to prevent them from hitting my mother. And two: me, most of them did small things to molest me. They would either pick me up so that way they could touch my butt or vagina. But I would say yes those things were traumatic and awful but what those guys did is considered small to me. My moms last ex was a whole lot worse. I was 18 going on 19. My mom had been dating him for about 1 year now and I had asked him if he can help pay for drivers ed. He said yes. But it came at a cost. He said he would pay if I slept with him. For months I told me no. But one day I guess he was having a moment and when I said no he got violent. He attacked me and rapped me. He did that for about 2 years. One day it was about 10 pm he started texting me. He was in the living room and I was in my room. He kept asking if he could come up to my room and (excuse my French) fuck me. I told him no which I learned at that poin not to say but I had to stand my ground. That night turned into a living hell for me. At this point he knew I was a lesbian. But he didn’t like that. When I said no he proceeded to call me out my name. Calling me all kinds of bitche, whore, and dyke. That rant and down right migratory act lasted from 10pm- 5 am. Through that whole night he kept telling me that I will never find someone, I will forever be alone and that no one will ever love me. At this point I’m crying and believing that I will forever be alone. When 10 am rolled around I pushed myself to go show my mom. As I stood there watching her face get madder and madder I started to get happy. A sense of freedom from the pain, hurt and embarrassment. She eventually got up and flipped out on him. I don’t really recall what happed after because as of today he’s still around. The only difference is he doesn’t do what he use to do to me. In fact he’s grate. But I haven’t forgotten or forgiven what he did to me. I put on a positive face and swallow my feelings but for right now still living under their roof and depending on them I have to keep stuff to myself. I just look forward to the day I move and never look back.