I know that people would prefer not to deal with these things, that denial is easier than dealing - but in your case, given that you attempted suicide and CPS was involved, I'm shocked that no one talked to you to try to find out what was troubling you, and that you weren't given therapy. I have no idea what the answer to your question might be.

I wish I had an answer but even if I did you might find that answer isn't of much help. I was raped when I was 8. I eventually told my mom( a couple of weeks later) but she only told my dad who said I was lying and made me apologize to the rapist. I had all sorts of issues from then on and she would parade me to one psychologist after another telling them was a little nutcase I was but somehow never mentioning the sexual abuse, incest and rape. None of those doctors and counselors asked me about it. I finally told one when I was hospitalized at 11 or 12 for a drug overdose. He said to me: "Oh ...how bad was it really?"

There is just no accounting for the way us humans act or think sometimes. I am so sorry you experienced that trauma and no one truly reached out to help. That can feel almost as bad as the assault.

Honestly I have no idea. That is fucked up that nobody knew. I don't understand how nobody could have even assumed that.. It legit doesn't make any sense to me.

People are really fucked up and don't like to think that those things happen so maybe that was it. Maybe they were in denial.

It hurts me so much that this happened to you and that nobody helped you.

Have you ever told anyone yet?

I wonder that too. We put out all the warning signs. Truth is the people in our lives just didn't care enough or want to rock the boat. they were selfish and thought of their own lives and how it would change it. people just suck!!

I hope you don't mind if I chime in. I'm the parent of a child who was sexually abused. He is 8 years old. My child was groomed for at least six months and the worst of the sexual abuse continued for another six months (as near as we have been able to piece the timeline together). I never, ever knew at the time. In hindsight, I saw some signs. But they weren't "obvious" signs. During it, I would have never, ever guessed that my son was being sexually abused. Especially by his stepbrother. Now, I beat myself up over it all the time. Wishing I had realized it on my own, sooner, to save my son any amount of time of enduring the abuse. I feel horribly guilty. I wasn't in denial, but there weren't "textbook" signs. I'm not telling you this to play the devil's advocate. Rather I just want to give you one parent's point of view. It may seem apparent to you because you were the victim, but to others, our minds just don't always go there. I am at the very, very least relieved my son finally told so I could do something about it. Once my son disclosed the abuse, I immediately took action. The perp was removed immediately (my husband's son). I got my son into therapy immediately. My stepson was prosecuted in juvenile court. I will never allow him to be reintegrated into my son's life or mine.

I'm sorry this happened to you. And I'm sorry no one figured it out sooner to help you. I'm sorry there are so many sick people on this earth that do these heinous things to children.

I hope that you will be able to come to terms with what happened to you. And live a happy, healthy life. What happened to you was not fair and it was not right and it was not your fault.

SABINUT honestly it sounds like your son's perpetrator was sexually abused himself.

And honestly there are A LOT of parents who know but just literally do not care what happens to their children.

I'm sorry no one noticed or that they didn't do anything about it, it hurts to look back and wonder "why didn't anyone notice" or "what if they actually figured it out..", I had a lot of anger as an adult that no one did anything about what was happening to me too, but in therapy I realized that anger was misplaced..

When I was 6 I was abused and the police got involved because someone "did" suspect something happened - but I lied to the police and insisted nothing happened... the issue was eventually dropped since I continued to deny it..

Again when I was 10 I was abused... and I was put in psychiatric care, but again I lied and denied anything happening (but I was treated for PTSD and anxiety even though the abuse was never specifically talked about...

Again when I was 13 and in a bad accident, the doctors in the trauma center saw obvious evidence of active current abuse - nothing was done about it..

My therapist asked me this during one of my first sessions when I voiced my aggravation that no one ever did anything about what was happening to me or that no one really figured it out... She said:

When you were a child, if someone did directly ask you if you about the abuse and if they properly thoroughly investigated it - would you have finally disclosed what was happening to you?

My answer: No, I would never admit what was happening - I would never talk about it... I was extremely embarrassed about it, I was horrified at the thought of my parents knowing about the sexual things done to me - I denied everything as convincingly as possible due to being so ashamed about what I thought was "my fault".. I believed the threats of my abuser so strongly and I feared them killing me or hurting me if I told anyone... I would have never admitted to my parents anything about it - when I was a child I was too embarrassed to even say words like penis or sex or anything similar to my parents, never mind talking about how I was being sexually abused..

What my therapist asked me made me realize that I shouldn't be too mad at those who didn't figure out that I was actually being sexually abused... I stopped feeling the anger towards the psychiatrist who treated me when I was 10 since I realized I would have lied to her no matter what she said to me..

I think the majority of boys were too embarrassed about the abuse to ever admit it - for that matter may boys do everything possible to hide it from everyone like I did, and the intense shame we felt caused many of us to actually protect our abuser to hide the truth..

The anger should be focused at the abuser - they are the ones who were wrong, they were the ones who manipulated us into silence...

There was some people who knew what was happening and allowed it to continue, there is no excuse for that, I see them as guilty as the abuser themselves...

Also you have to realize that there is many other possible causes for the symptoms or behavior exhibited by abused children... sexual abuse isn't the only reason children attempt suicide, sexual behavior in a child can sometimes be caused by a child finding online pornography or it could be innocent sexual experimentation with other children of the same age... the warning signs of sexual abuse overlap many other conditions or situations...

I wished I was one of those kids who was brave enough to tell their parents what happened to them, but that wasn't the case... I wished I didn't lie and insist nothing happened when I was questioned about it, but that wasn't the case... I wish the only explanation for my childhood behavior was sexual abuse, but that simply wasn't the case....

I don't mean to defend everyone who "didn't figure it out" or those who believed my lies, but as my therapist got me to realize, my abusers conditioned me into hiding the abuse and my embarrassment and shame silenced me...

Boys seem more prone to hiding the abuse and denying it when questioned due to our gender role - our belief that we must present ourselves as strong and we tend to hide any sign of weakness...