Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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lav 07/12/2007

I'm kind-of scared to open up and talk about what happeded to me three years ago. Unfortunately I feel like I'm not over the terrible events that happeded to me. I feel so lost and alone. I don't know which end is up. I got up the courage just about a month ago to tell(who I thought was a dear friend of mine) what had happened and why it took so long to tell her about it. I haven't heard from her since and I feel like she is avoiding me. Why do people have to act that way? Have they no compassion for evil events that happen to others?
After that you can see where I am hesitating to "let it all out". I know that it will probably do some good, but I don't know if I can stand the rejection. I sometimes still cry myself to sleep at night because of the loneliness I feel. Is there anyone who even gives-a-dam?

deleted_user 07/12/2007

I am sorry that you had to experience this.She isn't much of a friend if she hasn't called you.You do need to talk about it.It is part of the healing process.Feel OK to post about it here.We all know what it is like to go through something horrible.If you just want to talk with someone I am here look me up.Arvey

deleted_user 07/12/2007

I understand you situation, I have been there and I still have not told that much about. It is not a comfortable thing to talking about for me. I understand your situation and you are not alone.

deleted_user 07/12/2007

She may be avoidiing you because she has no idea how to deal with this. And you have known what hapened for all this time. She only just found out. I can tell you that when I told my sisters, they were really shocked. And they didn't really want to know too much, because it was just too much for them to deal with. And what I did tell them in terms of how it affected me, they didn't really understand. I understand your loneliness. I was very lonely for many years because I just didn't let anybody in. I was too scared. Didn't trust anyone. I am still lonely, but having Daily Strength to talk to people who really understand has made a huge difference for me. I hope it helps you too.

deleted_user 07/12/2007

Trust is the biggest issue we have to overcome after events like this. It is possible and you can find someone to listen here or elsewhere. People who love us sometimes can't help because they are too close and don't know how to deal or our pain hits a cord that they have somewhere. You are not alone.

It took me years of trying different counselors, to finally find someone I trusted. One that seemed real. She isn't a specialist in the field or anything which everyone says I need, but she is the best for me. I have tested her many times in the past 2 and 1/2 years and she has never let me down. She knows I am testing her and doesn't mind...she even says it is necessary. So just keep talking and you will find someone who will take the time and the effort to care about you. Until you do we are here to offer support and encouragement, or whatever you need. Just let someone know and there will be a listening ear.

SA

Desertdancer 07/13/2007

That really hurts. I've had that happen with friends and I've always wondered what's going on. I agree with the others. If she is avoiding you, she's not much of a friend.

I've gone through some really lonely times in my life. Cried myself to sleep more times than I care to remember.

I hope you don't let this bad experience keep you from talking to others. Once I told a trusted friend about the abuse and he promised to never repeat anything. I'm a very private person. He started drinking beers with some of the guys, all of whom knew me. They were curious about me because I kept to myself a lot. Well, he told them everything. I was mortified.

I've learned to be much more careful about who I talk to. But I refuse to let some bad apples scare me into silence.

Are you in therapy or support groups? Those can be safe places to share. Building trust takes a long time. Being betrayed by a good friend is just heartbreaking. I hope it's just a misunderstanding. Have you talked with her about it since to see what's really going on?

deleted_user 07/13/2007

i'm sorry that happened to you. i've been through it too, and it can feel like they don't care about you--more than likely they have issues that get in their way of being there for you. it doesn't excuse it, but i t can help explain.

you were doing the right thing in reaching out though. you can't heal on your own...the other suggestions about therapy are right on track.

another thing i've learned to do, when there's someone i think i want to try to confide in, i test the waters...usually you can tell how they might respond to your story if you can speak about something in a movie or the news that is similar and see how they respond...like you could have seen a show where someone was assaulted, and say something like, "I hate that things like that happen in real life too" and see how they respond. if they blow off others' pain or experience, you might not find them the most sympathetic or healthy to talk with...

you deserve somene to listen to you and care about you. i'm sorry you've been carrying this for 3 years alone, and that your first try to seek support turned out this way. the good news is that you are here, and you can share here without fear of rejection--we know the risk of sharing and want to make it ok for you!
em

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