Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Get to a safe place.
The first and most important thing for you to do is to get away from the perpetrator and to a safe place. Whether this is to your home, a friend's home, a police station or a hospital, make sure you are not in any danger anymore. This can be very difficult if you are living with your perpetrator, such as a spouse or a relative (in which case, you might want to tell someone you trust and develop a safety plan before you leave the situation).
Get Help
Call 911, your local rape crisis center or RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE). It is also a good idea to call a friend, relative, significant other, or resident advisor and ask them to accompany you to the hospital or police station, or to call the police, hospital or crisis center for you. Some communities have victim advocates who will accompany you to the hospital and assist you with the process. Calling 1-800-656-HOPE or your local crisis line may help you find one of these advocates. You may also want to bring a second set of clothes for you at the hospital, as the police may want to keep yours. If you have clothing evidence at home, such as clothing left by the perpetrator, you, or a friend, should place each item in a separate paper bag and have the police collect it later.
Take the Necessary Steps
Do not shower, wash your hands, change your clothes, brush your teeth, drink anything, douche, urinate, etc. All of these things will destroy evidence (things that your attacker may have left behind, such as fibers, hairs, saliva or semen). I know that it is hard... the first thing many survivors want to do is take a shower and be "clean" again, but it is necessary.
Go to the hospital to have injuries treated, and have a rape kit done (minors in the US do not need parental permission to obtain a rape exam, in case you are worried about telling your parents right away). If you make a report to the police of the incident, most states will pay for the evidence collection (The Attorney General's Rape Victims Assistance Program will pay for evidence gathering at the hospital, including Emergency Room registration fee, doctor's fee, and two lab tests). This involves, in most cases, photographs, mouth, anal and vaginal swabs, hair combing and/or pulling (the nurse will let you pull hairs out yourself if you ask), collection of clothes and underwear, fingernail scrapings and/or clippings, drawing blood and a pelvic exam (if female). They will also check and treat you for injuries, STDs and pregnancy (if female). They will, with your permission, administer the morning after pill to prevent pregnancy. Make sure to tell the doctor if you believe you have been drugged.
At hospitals, rape victims have priority after life-threatening cases. If you have been waiting for a long time, ask, or have your friend ask, to be seen more quickly. You may also ask, or have a friend ask, for a private area to wait, instead of the waiting room. You may request a doctor of the same sex as yourself if it will make you feel more comfortable (depending on the hour, this may make your wait time longer). You can have your friend stay with you during the exam. You should expect to be at the hospital between 2 and 5 hours. The exam usually takes about an hour and 1/2.
If you can, make notes, mental or written, about your perpetrator's appearance, the location and events of the assault, etc. This will help you if you decide to talk to the police.
Counseling is Vital
It is important to have a support network to help you get through this difficult time. RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE) will connect you to a crisis center that will probably be able to recommend a good therapist. You can also look up therapists in your local yellow pages and call around, asking for recommendations for someone who specializes in rape survivors.
It was not your fault. You are not responsible for the actions of others and it is not your fault that someone decided to hurt you. Whatever choices you made were the right ones, because you are alive.
The first and most important thing for you to do is to get away from the perpetrator and to a safe place. Whether this is to your home, a friend's home, a police station or a hospital, make sure you are not in any danger anymore. This can be very difficult if you are living with your perpetrator, such as a spouse or a relative (in which case, you might want to tell someone you trust and develop a safety plan before you leave the situation).
Get Help
Call 911, your local rape crisis center or RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE). It is also a good idea to call a friend, relative, significant other, or resident advisor and ask them to accompany you to the hospital or police station, or to call the police, hospital or crisis center for you. Some communities have victim advocates who will accompany you to the hospital and assist you with the process. Calling 1-800-656-HOPE or your local crisis line may help you find one of these advocates. You may also want to bring a second set of clothes for you at the hospital, as the police may want to keep yours. If you have clothing evidence at home, such as clothing left by the perpetrator, you, or a friend, should place each item in a separate paper bag and have the police collect it later.
Take the Necessary Steps
Do not shower, wash your hands, change your clothes, brush your teeth, drink anything, douche, urinate, etc. All of these things will destroy evidence (things that your attacker may have left behind, such as fibers, hairs, saliva or semen). I know that it is hard... the first thing many survivors want to do is take a shower and be "clean" again, but it is necessary.
Go to the hospital to have injuries treated, and have a rape kit done (minors in the US do not need parental permission to obtain a rape exam, in case you are worried about telling your parents right away). If you make a report to the police of the incident, most states will pay for the evidence collection (The Attorney General's Rape Victims Assistance Program will pay for evidence gathering at the hospital, including Emergency Room registration fee, doctor's fee, and two lab tests). This involves, in most cases, photographs, mouth, anal and vaginal swabs, hair combing and/or pulling (the nurse will let you pull hairs out yourself if you ask), collection of clothes and underwear, fingernail scrapings and/or clippings, drawing blood and a pelvic exam (if female). They will also check and treat you for injuries, STDs and pregnancy (if female). They will, with your permission, administer the morning after pill to prevent pregnancy. Make sure to tell the doctor if you believe you have been drugged.
At hospitals, rape victims have priority after life-threatening cases. If you have been waiting for a long time, ask, or have your friend ask, to be seen more quickly. You may also ask, or have a friend ask, for a private area to wait, instead of the waiting room. You may request a doctor of the same sex as yourself if it will make you feel more comfortable (depending on the hour, this may make your wait time longer). You can have your friend stay with you during the exam. You should expect to be at the hospital between 2 and 5 hours. The exam usually takes about an hour and 1/2.
If you can, make notes, mental or written, about your perpetrator's appearance, the location and events of the assault, etc. This will help you if you decide to talk to the police.
Counseling is Vital
It is important to have a support network to help you get through this difficult time. RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE) will connect you to a crisis center that will probably be able to recommend a good therapist. You can also look up therapists in your local yellow pages and call around, asking for recommendations for someone who specializes in rape survivors.
It was not your fault. You are not responsible for the actions of others and it is not your fault that someone decided to hurt you. Whatever choices you made were the right ones, because you are alive.
justanother4159
great post.
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