Excellent articles. Thank you for posting these. I never thought of myself as having PTSD but based on these websites I guess I would be diagnosed with it.

Thanks again!

And you are welcome Lucky - As I said, as this is your life we are dealing with, it always pays to do research on any expressed opinion; as this is the case, I do not feel any such search is a "wild goose chase" by any stretch of the imagination.
Facts show, time and again, through laboratory-based research and the experience of hundreds of thousands of therapists and counselors, not all survivors of ANY abuse consistently develop PTSD, or any other disorder - it is a personal development, personal processing and person history related issue. Just like many soldiers return from the war suffering from PTSD, they are but a fraction of those who serve on the front line. Sexual abuse-related PTSD also is determined by your personal support, the age of the incidents and any interventions that you have sought following the abuse.
There is no "one answer for all" in any disorder - this is also backed by research, observation and testing.
Best to double check any generalization that is made about EVERY victim / survivor etc. The great thing about humanity is it's unique and individual ability to respond to different situations as unique and individual people.
All my best!
Refuse2quit

Personally OldRolly - no - I do not lay my being gay at the feet of my abusers. And the tie in you have between being gay and PTSD escapes me. I remember before I was gay I was fascinated and attracted to the male form. Had nothing to do with sex per se, because I did not even understand human sexuality. But when a kid at school brought a rather risque magazine (nudity only) to the locker room and was showing all of us, I remember wondering why all the boys were carrying on over the naked women when there was a naked man to look at. This was BEFORE the abuse. So no, I really don't believe that there is a tie in to the abuse, but that is irrelevant to me in this discussion, because we are talking PTSD, not human sexuality, here.
Refuse2quit

Well, OldRolly, I need to know what you want to know about my life before I answer your question. I am gay and I state that as we are a under-represented group that others need to understand have existed since the beginning of time. Many people are gay without having to endure being molested or abused. Why do I admit it? Because I am not ashamed of it. It is part (only part) of who I am.
Odd that you can accept bi-sexual as this seems to go against your previous definition of a healthy relationship. But there is no reason to get into that.
And your daughter's experience is not the experience of us all, so why do you hold her up as an example to all? She has a right to her privacy too, does she not? If so you have betrayed her highly. If not, then your comments of me talking about my sexuality seem out of place.
Your opinion - I have come to expect such. No issue on my part, but as you think I "dismally failed to answer your question" - my question is "what IS your question?"
Refuse2quit

Okay, one at a time.
-Yes, I had two counselors that thought I was gay due to the abuse. This brought about more shame and self loathing that I had a lot of issues with. One counselor I left because he was also preaching a very warped form of Christianity to me while in session with him. He was basically pushing the "you were weak in faith and thus you were abused" format that is just not backed up with scripture. The other counselor appeared on night in a Gay bar that I was in - I asked about him and it turned out that unless I looked underage, he was not interested in me. I left him because he also had a wife and two children that he should have been thinking about in my opinion.
-Attracted to the male form is not unusual for young boys. As I said - non-sexual, just an admiration of the muscles structure and such. And I think after all these years of dealing with my abuse, that I would know when I was first abused, My uncle lived across the state from me and I rarely say him, never left in his care as and infant, so the likelihood of that is next to nil. My mother protected me as an infant very well. I have no signs of infant abuse, which often does show it own distinct indicators to the survivors of such.
-And no, to be attracted to a particular gender is NOT abnormal in a young boys life. According to child development experts, it is to be expected. As I said - nothing sexual, just an attraction. I was also attracted to animals and ice cream, but did not have sex with them. So that reasoning washes out.
-And again, no that attraction that I had to the male form, if anything just indicates that I was probably born or formed gay from birth. You do realize that there are homosexual behaviors in several animal species don't you? It is really more natural than most understand, believe or care to find out about. Why not accept that it COULD be the way I was meant to be. It doesn't bother me, why you?
-And I am not about to deny you to have your opinion. But your opinion is not backed up by any RESEARCH - and the overwhelming amount of studies that are done show that, whether they ever find a "gay gene", that some are born into this orientation. Not all is genetic.
As for how I define my life in the way of abuse - well that is a little more complicated.
I realize that my abuse has directly affected my life, but I choose to see the best in my life, rather than the worst effects of the past. Some of the things I have learned from my abuse are as follows:
-Never underestimate the power of words; they can build up or destroy.
- Never take emotions for granted, be they yours or another persons.
- Learn to listen, for the gift of silent support is inestimable.
- I am resilient and much more; I am strong, I am courageous, I know my weaknesses and I can achieve about anything I put my mind to.
- Empathy - to hear and relate to the pain of others in many ways.
- Childhood innocence is temporary and fleeting - it should be treasured and protected.
- Even at the worst of time, there are positive elements in life.
- Every experience in life can teach valuable lessons, if you just learn to open you mind to the possibilities of change.
- Growth is good, for when something stops growing, death begins.
I have a lot more- but these are the first things that come to my mind.
I am who I am regardless- I show NO OTHER current signs of PTSD, so why should I accept your opinion that I am a sufferer of such, unless it is about how it threatens your reality and who you are?
I had PTSD in the past - the flashbacks, the anxiety attacks, the constant feeling of being abused - but I have dealt with those with a highly qualified and dedicated therapist about 25 years ago. I have seen many therapists over the years and have no aversion to talking to one now, should I feel the need. But I have felt that need in years. So I am happy and I know that before I accept ANYONE'S opinion as fact, I check the current research out there - and your opinions are not backed by ANY that I can find.
So - any more questions - I have all night!!!
Refuse2quit

Oh and by the way -
I do not desire, need or require your approval, acceptance or permission to live my life as I feel inclined to do so. And I certainly have no use for your sympathy or sadness, so don't waste your energy or tears - okay?
I truly believe that, years ago, had society been more accepting of gay men, maybe they would not feel the need to molest and rape children in order to express their sexual desires without being found out.
And as far as your opinion of homosexuality - it is of absolutely no consequence to me whatsoever. You have expressed much deeper issues that are in need of attention, but fail to take the advice of SO many.
Do know this - I will be following your every post. Anytime you start telling someone something like..." ALL sexual abuse victims naturally contract PTSD, there are definitely no exceptions to this rule. " ...or giving the "advice" that you offered a 16 year old girl about being forever bound to her sexual practices of being tied up, due to your own personal beliefs with no research to back it up - ( I would copy your words and past them here, but the post of which has been removed I see),.....you can expect that I will be there to try and correct the damage that your message of personal failure and accepting less than what life / the human spirit has to offer, promotes. This is a site for SUPPORT, not hatred and defeat.
All my best OldRolly - Coffee is brewing!!
Refuse2quit

It is apparent where your mind is 24/7 --- and I thought you were going to avoid me like the plague - it seems you can't keep your word, I see. And yes, I do police you - you need it. The advice you give is nothing but a diatribe to justify your own warped perspective, in my opinion. You do not seem to care about helping others, in fact your objective seems to be to hold them back and tear them down so that you can look normal in your eyes - at least that is what your responses seem to be saying over and over. And you will find I am not the only one on this site that reads everything you write and reports as needed. You really should take the advice you are so willing to give - seek help with a professional therapist as your "slips" are showing.
I will not comment on your healthy sexuality, because as you said earlier - that is your private issue; but your post about it in another thread shows what you consider healthy, which to me just sounds like a lot of repressed issues. And again, I see no reason to take any advice from a man who seems to have no other objective than to destroy other people's progress and futures.
You do take care now - and know that there are many of us with our eyes open to your posts - and as you can see, few respond to you, mainly due to the fact that you do not back up anything with resources or fact, just your opinion that you state as such.
All my best again - and from a professional therapist I can honestly say - do seek help, as you need it.
Refuse2quit

No Rolly - and I am wise to your tricks - it is called 'baiting" in the therapist circles - you are trying to get me riled enough to say something that you can report - you will not success my old friend.
If you really bothered to try and understand what I was saying, it was about the repression of homosexuals and how many men were forced into expressing themselves in out of the way places or in inappropriate relationships, as otherwise they would have dealt with people who hold similar views to your. Those opinions are the reason that many gay men went into hiding, committed suicide, or horribly, took out their aggression upon those that they could scare into not saying anything about the abuse.
You are a transparent as your arguments - you have such limited weaponry really, that you have to keep twisting the words of others to sound like they are saying that which they are not. This is call manipulation, often the tool of person diagnosed as sociopaths, psychopaths, anti-social personality disorders and the like - any of those diagnosis show up on YOUR record my friend? You have such a predictable pattern now.
My skin is tough - I have been through abuses that you will never know - I can deal with whatever ya got, ---
Refuse2quit

Well, that did not take much did it? I am who I am, like it or not. And I will not generalize and decide that entire groups of people, say Australians, should all be dismissed due to one misled person.
And as far as fathering children - is that really your only purpose - because I know a man that has fathered over 50 children and cannot be a good father to any of them......But, I can be a good person to everyone I meet.
As I said in another post - good night - Will be back on tomorrow, so watch your P's and Q's!!
Refuse2quit

OldRolly because of one person you do not have healthy opinion of homosexuals? You know what that is called don't you? Bigotry.

There were many that were born gay, and were abused because they were gay,and were different. Not saying that someone can not have certain fetishes, because of abuse, or even hypersexuality , because of abuse, but being gay is not a fetish, because of abuse, and is not the say thing. It is something you are born with.

How about experience OldRolly,and who cares what kind of books you read. Anyone can find the answers they seek, if that is what they are looking for, but are you fining the truth?

BY the way you said they have not found a gay gene, have they found a hetro gene? I am religious man, but frankly your hate astonishing me, and make many Christians like myself embarrassed, and ashamed to call ourselves that because of your ignorance.

ANother question for you. All4 of my brothers were abused, none sexually,. only one was gay. Why wouldn't all of them be gay. My best friend was gay, and he was not sexually abused. Some where, some were not, but many that were abused was because they were gay. I was sexually abused, and I am not gay.

BY the way they have found the gay gene, just int he brain wave patterns of the human brain. the same tests they do on women, and men showing the differences in the thinking process, are the same with gay men having more on the line of women brains, and gay women have more on the line of male brains.

As well i have known gay men personally who hide their homosexuality, because of people like you, forced themselves to get married, have children, but things just were not right, and always ended in disaster.

As well gay men announce they are gay to tell bullies like you that you can not hurt them anymore, and they do NOT have to fricking hide from jerks like you. That is why they do it, that is why they have the gay pride parade, because they are telling people like you to screw themeless, that you have NO right to tell them who they have to love, or marry.

You disgust me, and I feel so sorry for your daughter to have father like you that does not love her for who she is.

You know nothing, and you are an ignorant fool! I have none bullies like you all my life, and why the suicide rate among gay children is skyrocketing, because of your lack of love, and disgrace, and your bullying towards them of not being accepted.

If you are Christen you better rethink what would Jesus do, and he would love everyone the same, not hate.

Refuse2quit,

I DO HAVE a lot of , experience, education, classroom time, and Psych classes to back me up and you are absolutely 100% CORRECT. Not every person who has a traumatic event develops PTSD. There are so very many different dynamics and variables in traumas- including sexual traumas- that there is no way to establish whether a person will or will not develop PTSD. Just like there is no way to determine whether a person is BORN or MADE gay. I have - well had(One passed)- three sisters- all of whom were abused and only one of them ever questioned her sexuality. I also have a cousin who had the ideal, loving childhood and will tell you that he was blessed- we knew he was gay before he did. At 8 years old, he was inside wanting to play with our hair and dress up our dolls and if he was forced to go outside and be athletic, then he was miserable. It was no surprise to anyone when he came out as gay.

I am impressed with the way you have handled being baited. (Yes, you are correct, that is what it is called) Further information: just because a person is abused- does NOT mean that they HAVE to be damaged for life, nor does it mean that they will seek abuse later on, any more than it means that they will become an abuser or gay or bisexual.

I fully support and commend you on the way that you have helped on this site and cannot stress to you enough about the way you have carried yourself. I do not say that because I have "read a few books and seen a therapist". I say this with degrees, many, many Psych and Counseling classes, an honor student, a PSI CHI member AND someone who is in the top 10% of her class. I am also someone who has raised 4 beautiful children and has been married for going on 20 years. I have been around the block of life so to speak.

One more thing - as far as left and right brained people. Left brained people are said to be more logical, critical thinking and better at things like language and reading. Right brained people are more creative- arts, emotions, intuition, music..things like that.

That being said- you know my horrible past, now if we were going with some thinking that I have read in this forum- it would be completely logical to say that I would not function well with my left brain- correct?

I scored a 30 on my reading and language arts ACT, which is quite astonishing and a very high score. This shows that my left brain works quite well. I am also extremely artistic and have great intuition- which shows that my right brain works just fine also. There is not enough information on the human brain to say with any type of accuracy what is damaged during a trauma- and to place a generalization on every single person that has experienced a trauma is very, very inaccurate.

I am glad that you are posting accurate information and putting it out there so people, especially the younger ones in here can come and get ACCURATE information. Again, Thank you. :)

Aquarius and Annie - thank you so much for your posts - they are well thought out and intelligent - something I would expect from you both. Sometimes I just keep other member talking to me rather than let them damage others with their misinformation and hate-inspired messages. I had strapped on my armor tightly and it is still shining and without a dent, I am proud to say. And it worked in that as long as I kept the conversation going there was no time for 'others' to be on other groups doing damage.
I do so love your support and Annie - you do always surprise and amaze me - someone brought you your laptop obviously!!!
I do hope you get better soon and are outside of the soft cast as soon as possible.
Anyway, you both shine in my book - and I ask you - is some of what was written not enough to cause PTSD if I did not have the inner strength to withstand? I think that deserves a report or two myself! Give them enough rope and .... well you know.
All my best my friends - take care and I will talk later.
Refuse2quit (isn't that obvious by now!!!)