Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I have a few quirks and I would guess everyone has a few but I wanted to run this one by everyone.
When I am nervous I look at packages. No, I don't mean gifts or things that come in the mail.
I have generalized anxiety disorder and just anxiety (according to my check out sheet I get when I see my pdoc)
I used to attend church and church made me anxious because I had a good old fashioned guilt complex so what did I do??? I kept looking at men's crotches. Didn't matter if they were 90 or 20. attractive or not. I looked. I couldn't stop myself.
When I see my therapist (tdoc) he sits in a chair next to me. He started in a chair across from me but I was so uncomfortable he tried sitting next to me and it seemed to help. I just realized I can't see his junk when he sits next to me.
I remember getting in trouble in 6th grade. I don't remember for what but I do know my mom was called in and the principal, my mom, and me sat there and I kept stealing glances at his crotch. The only thing I took away from that meeting was that I surmised he was not well endowed.
Does anyone else do this??? I know it's weird. I don't know...maybe it isn't...
When I am nervous I look at packages. No, I don't mean gifts or things that come in the mail.
I have generalized anxiety disorder and just anxiety (according to my check out sheet I get when I see my pdoc)
I used to attend church and church made me anxious because I had a good old fashioned guilt complex so what did I do??? I kept looking at men's crotches. Didn't matter if they were 90 or 20. attractive or not. I looked. I couldn't stop myself.
When I see my therapist (tdoc) he sits in a chair next to me. He started in a chair across from me but I was so uncomfortable he tried sitting next to me and it seemed to help. I just realized I can't see his junk when he sits next to me.
I remember getting in trouble in 6th grade. I don't remember for what but I do know my mom was called in and the principal, my mom, and me sat there and I kept stealing glances at his crotch. The only thing I took away from that meeting was that I surmised he was not well endowed.
Does anyone else do this??? I know it's weird. I don't know...maybe it isn't...
-Maybe it started at an age when you were eye level with adult genitals
-Did an abuser force you to look at him?
-It could be possible that, as a child, you stared at a mans genitals because that was one way to make sure they didn't come near you. It actually created a feeling of safety if you kept your eye on them at all times.
I am sure there could be many reasons why you do this and I feel that if you get in touch with the thought process or feeling attached to it you will have an easier time moving past it.
To answer your question....I don't think I had/have any quirks that were created from the abuse. I'll have to pay closer attention.
Take care
One abuser forced me to look and the other often approached me from behind. I remember wanting to look but being afraid to and refusing or attempted to refuse.
I don't do it nearly as much as I used to which is good. It means I have less anxiety but when it does happen I am very much aware and the more ware I am the more anxious it makes me.
I don't think I am obvious about it ...I hope not!
I think for me, it was the simultaneous arrival of my sex drive and my self hatred, that started it?
For me it had a real shame vibe.
Now just nervousness when my eyes momentarily go there; I really like not getting fired, you know? *looks embarrassed*
So prior to puberty...