It started when I was very young. My brother who was 3 years older than me and my cousins all playing touchy feely while the parents played cards. But it did not stop there. I was a little chunky girl, with very little self esteem and confidence. My brother seem to think I was for his and his friends entertainment. They had me doing can can dances with no underwear at first, then it was feel me for a candy bar and then it progressed from there. By twelve I was very large breasted and my brother pushed me up against the wall to feel them. He also took me with his friends in a convertible and pretended I was his girlfriend and he made out with me. Then I liked one his friends and allowed him to "try" to have intercourse with me. The sad part is after all of that I was the one obsessed with sex and it ended up ruining my life. Would I have been different had this not all have happened? I have been through four abusive marriages, lost one of my daughters because she says I always put my men first and live with so much guilt and sorrow. I have always tried to be so happy and do for others to make up for my mistakes but it just doesn't seem to be enough. Now that I am older and have time on my hands, caring for my sick husband, it is all I think about.