Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Loved1 11/09/2007

I had this happen to me when I first starting having sex. My first intercourse was extremely painful and so thereafter I had this vaginismus where I was so tightly contracted it could barely go in and when it did it was too painful. It happened for a long time and went away as it got more comfortable and pleasurable.
After being on this sight and posting my story on that discussion, it brought up a lot of awareness I'd been repressing. I've been in a relationship that became harmful to me emotionally. We were off and on. When we did it that last time I didn't want to and went along, and got those old painful feelings like psychologically I was going to go back to having vaginismus. We're broken up now. I don't want to be sexual with him anymore so it's a good thing. I have work to do. I need to feel safe to say no, and he is not someone I feel this way with. I was celibate a long time for him.
This is not easy for me to share about. I do feel safe here. I was hoping I may get feedback from others who know about or who have experienced this.

Loved1 11/09/2007

correction... I was celibate a long time before him.

deleted_user 11/09/2007

I have (in my opinion)been raped many times by many men. Not because I said no, but because I felt like I couldn't say no. The one and only time I reported anything the charges were dropped.

deleted_user 11/24/2007

i understand your story- i'm in and out of a relationship with someone who would get angry intimidating and agressive if i said no to sex so then i started to just go along with it- this is also sort of what happened when i lost my virginity, the difference being that i feared i would be ridiculed if i didn't go along- it is very hurtful and damaging for someone to put you through that- they take your power- i'm glad you got out of that situation- pray for me that i don't ever go back to my relationship, cuz i'm used to being treated that way and it's hard to change- my physical reaction has been that sex is painful but not in the same way- there is a certain spot that gets really irritated and i can't enjoy the sex- it only adds to me not wanting to have sex and to the pain of feeling like i have to anyway- again, i'm glad you got out of that and i believe that when you find someone who you feel safe with and who really protects you and loves you, your physical problem will go away over time and you'll be able to enjoy a healthy sex life- good luck to you-

deleted_user 11/24/2007

i had this problem. I didn't understand it at the time...
i've never had a problem having sex, quite the opposite actually. I think my ex tried to trigger me one night =/ i know's it's a horrible thing to say....but i never felt threatened like that before...[he had dated a lot of victims]
with him i had this issue....have been pretty nervous about sex since then =/

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