While it is true that not all memories are accurate there generally is some truth in them. I did not remember I was abused until 30 years after it ended. When different memories were returning it was difficult to know who abused me. At one point I was terrified that it was my father but it turned out it was not - it was a neighbor. The abuse by the neighbor stopped when I was 12 but a neighborhood boy repeatedly raped me when I was 13 & 14. I had also repressed these memories and when they came back I had a flashback that the boy who raped me was a certain friend of my brothers. I was not sure it was him though so I kept the information to myself. About 6 months later I was with my therapist when I had a flashback to one of the rapes and saw that it was a different boy who did this to me. I knew in my soul that he was the guilty one. Each flashback after that it was only this boy in them. My therapist explained that this happens to protect ourselves. My brain revealed to me that I was raped and showed me a boy I felt safe with - the boy who didn't actually rape me. This allowed me to adjust to the fact that I was not only remembering I was sexually abused from 8-12 but also that I was raped at 13 & 14. It was a lot to suddenly remember.

It is very possible that your sister is remembering correctly but it is also possible she is remembering a perfectly innocent event and assuming it was abuse. She would really have to remember more in order to be certain. I would urge her to start seeing a therapist to help her remember more so that she is certain she was abused and certain of who did it. It would be sad for her to accuse your father of something he did not do.

Take care

Thanks so much I feel a lot better now. Any advice on how to approach this from here? My parent have no idea what is happening. They need to know something. They feel like she is accusing my dad and have no idea she is.

I'm glad you said you mind shows you someone you feel safe with. So maybe it wasn't my dad.

Maybe she could tell my parents she freaked out because she has been remembering things from her past and wants to be cautious untill she knows more. Maybe I can convince her to go to therepy I'd hate for her to accuse my dad with out seeking the truth with a professional first. Even telling them that seems like she thinks it could be my dad but it's better than her plan.

I'm so stressed I feel like this is gonna blow up. I have been researching this all day and a lot of what I've read my sister didn't seem to do but I'm not her so she could have. I think if she is ready to be accusing people she needs to be ready to seek help and truth before loosing her parents. My dad is heartbroken and afraid to hold his granddaughter.

My gut reaction is that she should not tell them what is going on until she gets help and has good solid memories. But she does need to do what she feels is right for her. If she wants to confront them I'm not sure if you will be able to stop her. I know that I do not know her or your relationship with her so there is no way I could know that she would not stop if you tried. But it has been my experience that when a person has something on their mind they will not stop until they do what it is they want to do. If she is like this with other things you may not be able to stop her.

If you could convince her to see a therapist and hold off talking to your parents for at least 6 months this may give her time to remember more. It won't explain why she won't let your father near the baby though so that will still be an issue. It's a tricky one for sure. If she does confront them keep in mind that their first reaction will likely be to deny it ever happened - whether it is the truth or not. Most people who abuse are not going to admit it even when confronted with it. Maybe you can ask her what she hopes will happen if she confronts them. Is she hoping your father will admit to it? What will she do if he denies it? These are some questions you can ask her to get her thinking about the repercussions of accusing him of something she is not certain of.

I do wish you all the best. I can only imagine the stress level in your family right now.

I decided to talk to my husband about it. I was afraid cause I didn't really know what to think at first and how he would react. Well he isn't surprised my sister is doing this. He is good at reading people and he isn't shocked and doesn't think my dad did anything (I'm glad he didn't think he did). We obviously don't know if he did but he thinks my sister is reacting too fast without knowing more. If she is worried she should keep an eye on her daughter. And trust my mother. I do understand why she would be worried about my dad being alone with her daughter but I also feel like this is something to handle with care and she isn't.

I tried to talk to her today and I don't think she will see a therapist. And she is defiantly looking for things to say "see I was right". I try to point out that these things are innocent but she doesn't really see it that way.

I feel a lot better after talking to my husband but now he doesn't want her daughter at our house incase she accuses him of something. And I can't really say she wouldn't do that now. This sucks cause I always wanted to have sleep overs with the cousins :(