To me a survivor is someone who gets up everyday and fights to heal. A survivor is someone who can tell there story with pain and sadness to help heal themselves. A survivor is someone who has courage to try to get better for themselves. A survivor is someone who doesn't give up just because the pain is to much. We move in one tiny step at a time. We believe we must be good to ourselves since we are the only ones you can. We survived the abuse maybe not the nightmares or the feeling or even the pain but we live and breathe everyday and say to ourselves they can't hurt us anymore only we can hurt ourselves. It is not our fault what happened to us when we were young and vulernable but it is our fault we let it win and control us that is a survivor being able to live with the pain and try to heal ourselves from the inside out. I still have issues over it 28 years later. I am stronger because I know it's not my fault I was 5 when it all started. I went through my life searching for love in all the wrong the places to fill the pain to numb the memories. I even tried to kill myself. Nothing I did to myself helped with the pain or the memories not even medication the only thing that seems to working is talking about it letting the story out. That is how I am choosing to survive. I also deal with depression and have panic attacks and trust issues. You may not feel like a survivor if you continue to act like a victim. Sorry don't mean to hurt you. I acted like a victim for many many many years even though people said I was a survivor because I was alive. I just recently found out what a survivor meant to me. You must try to believe that you are a survivor and not victim. I am not a victim anymore I telling my story to set me free from the pain and memories. This is how I choose to be a survivor. I know easier said than done. You know something you are choosing to be a survivor right now by telling us your story. It takes tremendous courage and even tears to say what happened. I give you a great big hug and pat on the back for doing this. Do you ever think that the abuser goes around telling his story. No way people would kill him because real men don't like it. I hope this helps I am also new to the site. hugs and love to you shiane

Very well said sunstar.

A survivor is somone who realizes it wasnt MY fault and turns hate to love. Otherwise you hate the rest of your life. I was there

Being a survivor is just that....living in spite of the pain, the tragedy. It doesn't mean that you necessarily have to do it with grace or dignity or even proactivity....BUT FEELING like a survivor comes with being active in your healing. In acknowledging what you feel and why. In letting the LIGHT IN to your life and the darkness out. Talking about it, accepting what it has hurt and learning to soothe that pain in a healthy way instead of pushing it down.

You survived....so no matter what, you are a survivor. But you won't begin to feel hope, invincibility again until you work to heal in whatever way you chose to do so.

It wasn't until I started working towards healing that I honestly felt like a survivor.

Karyl,
The process of healing is a long and difficult road. At one time, we all felt like victims. During the process of healing, you will learn to accept the abuse as a part of your life, stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty and grow to handle it better and integrate it into your history and move on. You will become a survivor at some point, but you are not there yet. I was raped at age 13, screamed bloody murder in my sleep every night until I was 22 and now at ago 43, I am finally doing the last bits of my inner work. Probably four or five years went by before I considered myself a survivor, after the attack. Please get some help and don't give up.