Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I was so disgusted with myself that i threw up. I had a nightmare where i was raped repeatedly. I woke up lets just say more than aroused abd in tears. How can my mind be so distraught with fear and sadness but my body be so turned on by my abuse. What is wrong with me. This can't be normal. Ive been having the dreams for 2 months now and its made my depression so bad tht i feel numb. I also have d.i.d. and the only time i feel anything is during the nightmares or thinking or talking about the abuse. I can't go on like this much longer. Please help.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
When I told my therapist she said this was yet more evidence that I had been sexually abused.
I still don't understand this phenomenon. Many times, I have seen people on DS state that being aroused by abuse is nothing more than the body reacting the way it is designed to react to sexual stimulation. But I feel there is a demonic force to that kind of arousal that goes beyond the body's normal response. I wonder if it is some kind of defense mechanism. I wonder if it's the body/mind's way of masking or disguising unbearable feelings with powerfully erotic feelings - substituting life-affirming feelings of arousal for death-like feelings of being abused?
Whatever it is, it is unfortunately normal for many of us who have been abused. It is really important for you to work with a therapist who is experienced in trauma and sexual abuse. These feelings are too overwhelming to try to handle on your own. You can find help by calling the RAINN hotline.
(((Hugs)))
Are you seeing a counselor?
It's bad enough to deal with the overwhelming grossness of the memories themselves without shaming yourself for the forced arousal that is part of the memory.
It really grossed me out when I had a spontaneous orgasm during a flashback.
I did not want my body to feel that way in response to being violated then. I do not want that now.
...but I didn't want that, and it is not my fault
Nerve endings work. That's all.