Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I was wondering something and i though i would post it and see if anyone had thoughts, ideas, etc.
I was born to single mother who loved me very much but unfortunately was mentally sick and a heroin addict. From the time i was born to age 3, she was in and out of jail leaving me with her friends who had physically and emotionally abused me until social services stepped in after a YMCA working reported multiple cigarette burns on my neck over a period of time. The women who dropped me off at the YMCA was pretending to be my mom and when questioned, told them she wasn't my mom and that i was being abused and specifically said i was being sexually abused, she evened named the person. Shortly after i was put up for adoption and never abused again. I don't remember any of the abuse at all and most of what i know, i read in the court case. I've always been open with the abuse, even the sexual abuse, simply because i don't remember it at all and i because i was no older then 3, even maybe only 2 and i was very underdeveloped, but i never blamed myself or anything like that, how could i. I know that i do have an emotional memory of it all and i see the personality traits.
HERE'S THE QUESTION: I posted "my wife needs help" and i've been wondering whether or not i was sexually abused. Is there any personality traits or signs that would stick out for sexual abuse without possibly being attributed to just the physical abuse? Could that women have lied because she was being busted for fraud and child abuse?
HERE'S MY ISSUE. I know my wife was sexually abused for 4 years because she told me when we met and i told her i was abused both sexually and physically too so in her mind, she knows i was sexually abused. I never did counseling really because my problem started at the root level and i grow around it. But i think the way i've dealt with it gives a false impression to my wife, that it is possible to just get over past abuse problems without help. I grew up with a very supportive family who knew what they were up against when they adopted me but i still have issues of abandonment, isolating my friends, shame, etc....maybe I'm in denial. Any ideas, thoughts, suggestions?
I was born to single mother who loved me very much but unfortunately was mentally sick and a heroin addict. From the time i was born to age 3, she was in and out of jail leaving me with her friends who had physically and emotionally abused me until social services stepped in after a YMCA working reported multiple cigarette burns on my neck over a period of time. The women who dropped me off at the YMCA was pretending to be my mom and when questioned, told them she wasn't my mom and that i was being abused and specifically said i was being sexually abused, she evened named the person. Shortly after i was put up for adoption and never abused again. I don't remember any of the abuse at all and most of what i know, i read in the court case. I've always been open with the abuse, even the sexual abuse, simply because i don't remember it at all and i because i was no older then 3, even maybe only 2 and i was very underdeveloped, but i never blamed myself or anything like that, how could i. I know that i do have an emotional memory of it all and i see the personality traits.
HERE'S THE QUESTION: I posted "my wife needs help" and i've been wondering whether or not i was sexually abused. Is there any personality traits or signs that would stick out for sexual abuse without possibly being attributed to just the physical abuse? Could that women have lied because she was being busted for fraud and child abuse?
HERE'S MY ISSUE. I know my wife was sexually abused for 4 years because she told me when we met and i told her i was abused both sexually and physically too so in her mind, she knows i was sexually abused. I never did counseling really because my problem started at the root level and i grow around it. But i think the way i've dealt with it gives a false impression to my wife, that it is possible to just get over past abuse problems without help. I grew up with a very supportive family who knew what they were up against when they adopted me but i still have issues of abandonment, isolating my friends, shame, etc....maybe I'm in denial. Any ideas, thoughts, suggestions?
Look, it's not that you "just magically" got over it.
You were removed from the abuse and then put in a good, supportive environment. You were believed, supported, and loved. As a consequence, you have been getting over it for a long time.
Most chronic sexual abuse survivors are abused by either family members or trusted people. Too the family tends to be very dysfunctional. In a functional family, the child would be a lot more likely to reveal the abuse...and even outside abusers seem to select kids who do not have good relationships with their parents. (They aren't dumb, they look for vulnerability.)
So before, during, and after the sexual abuse, there is often going to be physical abuse psychological abuse, or neglect.
It's not just the sexual abuse itself...it's everything interacting dynamically. It compounds the damage.
I also knew I had been sexual with older boys when I was very liittle, but I did not call it abuse. One day, I realized I knew all about anal an doral sex before I was five years old. I must have experienced that . If so, it was at least technically abused.