Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Ok many of you know my story, for those of you who don't its in my journal. but for this post to make since you have to know that my abuser was not a family member. It was a neighbor. Also that my parents got a divorce that same year for unrelated reasons.
I've been thinking about telling my Dad. The problem is this. I don't know how much i trust him. I am very confused about this because as a child growing up, my brother and I used to go visit him during the summers ( he usually lived in a different state than us ). He was never abusive or bad to me or my brother. He just has always seemed to be a bit of a chauvinist. In fact i just found out that while my Mom was pregnent with me, he was arrested for indecent exposure, and court ordered to have therapy. My half-sisters, Dad's second marrage, felt that he held a definate double standard. Now that i am thinking about telling him what happend i am not certain how supportive if at all he will me. This is based on what i have come to findout about him as and adult, but my personal experiance as a kid was that he was good to me. If he is sexist then how would he react to this?!!
I just don't know.
I've been thinking about telling my Dad. The problem is this. I don't know how much i trust him. I am very confused about this because as a child growing up, my brother and I used to go visit him during the summers ( he usually lived in a different state than us ). He was never abusive or bad to me or my brother. He just has always seemed to be a bit of a chauvinist. In fact i just found out that while my Mom was pregnent with me, he was arrested for indecent exposure, and court ordered to have therapy. My half-sisters, Dad's second marrage, felt that he held a definate double standard. Now that i am thinking about telling him what happend i am not certain how supportive if at all he will me. This is based on what i have come to findout about him as and adult, but my personal experiance as a kid was that he was good to me. If he is sexist then how would he react to this?!!
I just don't know.
Does your mother know? I will tell you this my friend it is nice to have people understand you and that is why many people tell others..thinking that they will then have a support system just to find out that is not the case. Many people just don't know what to do with this type of information and others will just treat you differently than you want to be treated.
Many know that I have been sexually abused because I tell, not because I want sympathy or them to lean on but because I want people to know it happens more often than they think. From my own experience so many people think this is something that doesn't or shouldn't affect you years later. Others don't say anything other than I am sorry that happened to you. others don't say anything.
So it is not very beneficial to tell others. It is important to tell those who can help you like a therapist or people in a group like this because we can relate.
Hugs to you and I am always here for you to talk to!!
With love!
Im not sure what advice to give. I wouldnt want u to tell ur dad and perhaps get a negative reaction from him that will make you feel worse. Even if ur dad is a chauvenist and indecently exposed that doesnt mean that he wont be supportive towards his child that was abused. I wouldnt put sexism on the same level as child abuse.
Maybe you could tell him in a general, round about way at first and see how he reacts and then go from there. Eg. "do you remember our neighbour........I didnt like him very much"
I would like to think any decent father would respond with disgust toward the abuser and love and care towards you.
Good luck with it.